One More Note About the Prayer Beads

[qos]

My teacher had this to say about the beads breaking:

No grief; these things happen. I'd actually never felt quite comfortable with the rose quartz, but they were the only stone beads I had that were big enough, and they felt as though they were "good enough" even if not quite right.


This actually feels to me like an "outer plane check" confirming that the breaking was meant to happen so I could re-make it in a way that was more harmonious with the energies it was intended to carry.

The rose quartz continues to offset the darker shades and/or energy of the other beads, reminding me to ever balance the shadows of the Underworld with the light of the Upper world, and to embrace simple pleasures as well as the heightened intensities of the Work and my passions.

Comments

[watcher457.livejournal.com]

that sounds really beautiful.

[shades-of-nyx.livejournal.com]

I really want to Work with you at some point.
Are trajectories have so much overlap.

[shadowandstar.livejournal.com]

I'd like that too!

[sekhmetkare.livejournal.com]

Balance is SO important. And I believe that there are no such things as coincidences... :-)

[shadowandstar.livejournal.com]

Balance has been an especially big challenge for me on this path, due to my grieving process. For most of the past year and a half, I truly wished I could just die and be with LM in the Underworld.

[sekhmetkare.livejournal.com]

I can understand that. I think grief is one of the hardest things to deal with because the one you are grieving for isn't here to help you through it. We feel so truly alone in our grief, and very few, however sympathetic, can ease the burden for us. At least, that's been my personal experience.

If you don't mind my asking, was that when you began working with Ereshkigal? I imagine She would be the one who would truly understand.

[shadowandstar.livejournal.com]

We feel so truly alone in our grief, and very few, however sympathetic, can ease the burden for us.
Yes.
I have a very clear memory of my young daughter hugging me and saying, "Mommy, it's all right." I had to stop myself from snapping at her "No! It's not 'all right' and it will never be 'all right.'"

f you don't mind my asking, was that when you began working with Ereshkigal?

I don't mind you asking at all, and yes, LM's death was the initiatory gateway for me to start on the Underworld Path as a priestess, and it was during a ritual with him a few months later that I unexpectedly encountered Ereshkigal directly and She told me This is where you go deep.

[sekhmetkare.livejournal.com]

That would be JUST a bit scary... **shivers**

I must say that I love your reaction to your daughter's attempt to comfort you, NOT because it made you angry, but because it proves that our society teaches us to tell each other that things are "all right" when they are NOT. We know deep down that it isn't, but we say it anyway. And our children learn it, and the myth continues.

[shadowandstar.livejournal.com]

Yes, it was rather scary. Here's the public account of the experience:
http://shadowandstar.livejournal.com/19454.html

Thanks for the affirmation of my response to my daughter. We talked about it a little later, and about other things to say, "I'm sorry you're hurting," "I miss him too," "Would you like a hug?" and etc.

[sekhmetkare.livejournal.com]

WOW... There are just no other words for that experience.

How funny that we both work with Hecate as well. As soon as I began reading the part about Her, I had to smile. She always knows when you need Her and Her dark, crackly humor. I don't know what I'd do without Hecate in my life.

But the hair on the back of my neck stood up when She said, "Can't be a death priestess if you haven't died." I have also had that experience, in dreams and in journeying. The dream was pretty horrible, and I shall never forget it.

Your daughter sounds like a very sweet girl. You're lucky... I have a son I love dearly, but I never had the good fortune to have a daughter as well.

[shadowandstar.livejournal.com]

WOW... There are just no other words for that experience.

*grin
Yeah. . . WOW and *boggle!

"Dark crackly humor" is right! I'm so glad to have someone else share that experience.

My daughter is amazing, with her own burgeoning spiritual life that is developing along its own unique lines.