Processing in the Midst of Mundanity

[qos]

Today has been incredibly full. Early this morning I had a powerful realization about my sense of identity that I haven't had the time to fully process and journal about. Readers on two of my journals have been entrusting me with stories of powerful, intimate experiences and invited me to engage with them about them. Watching the Inauguration was a powerful experience in its own way, and triggered a lot of ideas I feel the need to explore. I received an email from Michael telling me briefly that his base was receiving rocket fire (he's okay). I'm also continuing to process the experiences I had Sunday, and the messages sent by my friends on LJ are setting off new insights.

And here I sit at my desk at work, aware that I have responsibilities to meet here, and then I need to go grocery shopping, buy vodka for my Tuesday night ritual with Tiwaz, and that I have my Nia Fitness class tonight. It would be so, so easy to not attend the Nia class, to make quick stops at the stores and then go home, hug my kid, and withdraw into stillness and contemplation. I feel an almost desperate desire to get into that quiet, solitary space and process this flood of thoughts, feelings, and information.

But however important it is that I do take that time, it's also important that I give myself the chance to explore the opportunities that Nia is giving me to process and relax and grow in ways I'm not used to. I need to go, need to challenge my habitual patterns in the hope of finding new and better ones.

What I really want to do is run from the office right now, find a quiet hole somewhere, and alternately pray and write for several hours until my mind and spirit are composed again.

This too, is part of the Work: somehow holding my own needs and my responsibilities to my child, my husband, my employer, my friends, and my patron in dynamic balance.

Comments

[watcher457.livejournal.com]

finding balance at work is often interesting. my work can be busying, but it's a pattern, so my mind often wanders, particularly in breaks, and that's unfortunately when i feel most artistic. i say unfortunately because i haven't quite found a comfortable way to port around/keep the novel i'm writing where it is within easy access at work and at home.

i'm excited for you! it's tough when a lot of things happen at once, but invigorating as well. i feel all pumped up and it's not even about me, hehe.

nia, hmm? did you just start that recently? do you enjoy it?

oh, by the way, you said you were going to get back to me on something at my journal about erotic practices. i know you're busy, so don't feel pressured. if you don't get back to me, that's totally cool, but i thought i'd remind you in case you really wanted to share and it's just escaped you with everything else that's happening. :)

[freyasman.livejournal.com]

WOW! Does this sound familiar! For whatever it's worth, know that I have very similar experiences. Sometimes I get away for lunch just to write in my journal. Sometimes it's all I can do to stay at work. I commend you for doing your best to stay true to all of your commitments!

[wakingbear.livejournal.com]

"This too, is part of the Work: somehow holding my own needs and my responsibilities to my child, my husband, my employer, my friends, and my patron in dynamic balance."

Gods, so well said!

[blessed-harlot.livejournal.com]

Really well said, and something I struggle with as well.

[oakmouse]

Very well said. It's a difficult balance to walk.

You're making tremendous progress. When I have more energy (just spent the evening with JM and M, and am exhausted) I'll expand on that. *hugs*

[shadowandstar.livejournal.com]

I look forward to it, of course.

I'm not sure what was going on last night, but I went to bed at 8pm and fell asleep right away. I'm feeling better this morning, but not yet fully energized.

[shadowandstar.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

Sometimes I feel silly for posting stuff, because I know it's a struggle or a challenge so many share, so it's not exactly unique observations. But then I remember how much it means to me when I read about someone else dealing with the same stuff that I am.

[shadowandstar.livejournal.com]

Eeep! I totally lost track of that discussion. Would you mind sending me a message and refreshing my memory! I do want to talk about it. I suspect it was one of those things that I was holding off on "until I can get some clear space to think" and it fell off my radar. My apologies!

[shadowandstar.livejournal.com]

haven't quite found a comfortable way to port around/keep the novel i'm writing where it is within easy access at work and at home

Do you write longhand, or use a computer?

I'm fortunate to have a computer at work, and I've found that USB drives are a wonderful thing for keeping my projects together between work and home.

I've been to three sessions of Nia, and while it's definitely challenging I do enjoy it.

[watcher457.livejournal.com]

i can do both, but i get more done faster on a computer.

i have one of those miniature laptops, but it only has two hours of life and no plug to connect it to at work, and i have a thumb drive, but it won't work on work computers. i do have a pbwiki which i use, though it's not the best option.

re nia: interesting...