Processing in the Midst of Mundanity
Jan. 20th, 2009 01:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
qosToday has been incredibly full. Early this morning I had a powerful realization about my sense of identity that I haven't had the time to fully process and journal about. Readers on two of my journals have been entrusting me with stories of powerful, intimate experiences and invited me to engage with them about them. Watching the Inauguration was a powerful experience in its own way, and triggered a lot of ideas I feel the need to explore. I received an email from Michael telling me briefly that his base was receiving rocket fire (he's okay). I'm also continuing to process the experiences I had Sunday, and the messages sent by my friends on LJ are setting off new insights.
And here I sit at my desk at work, aware that I have responsibilities to meet here, and then I need to go grocery shopping, buy vodka for my Tuesday night ritual with Tiwaz, and that I have my Nia Fitness class tonight. It would be so, so easy to not attend the Nia class, to make quick stops at the stores and then go home, hug my kid, and withdraw into stillness and contemplation. I feel an almost desperate desire to get into that quiet, solitary space and process this flood of thoughts, feelings, and information.
But however important it is that I do take that time, it's also important that I give myself the chance to explore the opportunities that Nia is giving me to process and relax and grow in ways I'm not used to. I need to go, need to challenge my habitual patterns in the hope of finding new and better ones.
What I really want to do is run from the office right now, find a quiet hole somewhere, and alternately pray and write for several hours until my mind and spirit are composed again.
This too, is part of the Work: somehow holding my own needs and my responsibilities to my child, my husband, my employer, my friends, and my patron in dynamic balance.
And here I sit at my desk at work, aware that I have responsibilities to meet here, and then I need to go grocery shopping, buy vodka for my Tuesday night ritual with Tiwaz, and that I have my Nia Fitness class tonight. It would be so, so easy to not attend the Nia class, to make quick stops at the stores and then go home, hug my kid, and withdraw into stillness and contemplation. I feel an almost desperate desire to get into that quiet, solitary space and process this flood of thoughts, feelings, and information.
But however important it is that I do take that time, it's also important that I give myself the chance to explore the opportunities that Nia is giving me to process and relax and grow in ways I'm not used to. I need to go, need to challenge my habitual patterns in the hope of finding new and better ones.
What I really want to do is run from the office right now, find a quiet hole somewhere, and alternately pray and write for several hours until my mind and spirit are composed again.
This too, is part of the Work: somehow holding my own needs and my responsibilities to my child, my husband, my employer, my friends, and my patron in dynamic balance.
