Struggling to Find the Words

[qos]

I mentioned here a week or so ago that I need to update my profile, but I haven't done it yet. I just haven't made the time to work through how the various elements fit together now -- at least in a way that makes a reasonable introduction to someone browsing for new friends.

Today, during the class I'm teaching on personal spirituality, the topic was "The Divine: Images, Names, Relationships." Preparation for today's session was to create a collage that represented that person's images/thoughts/feelings/etc. about the Divine.

I made one too.



The people in the class today were from a fairly conventional background, so most of the images I'd chosen were way outside their frame of reference. They were very interested in learning about each one, which was nice. . . but at the end one woman -- my mother -- asked in a tone that was not quite plaintive: Why a dark goddess?

I had been expecting the question, of course, but I still found myself struggling to answer it. I could say, "Because that's who called me," but that wouldn't really answer her deeper question, which was "Why would you follow the dark instead of the light? What is it about the dark that attracts you, and should I be worried about you?"

The first thing I did was to reassure her that "dark" in this context was not "The Dark Side of the Force" -- but I stumbled after that. I talked about the depths, about facing our shadow sides, about helping people mediate and heal grief, shame, and fear. I didn't think to talk about the power of transformation in the dark, or about the death process (I'm not very advanced in that area myself, having been focused more on grieving this past year).

I won't say that I was embarrassed by my inability to present my path -- and my patron deity -- in a clear and coherent way. . . but it was made very clear to me that I need to spend some time thinking about this, so that when people do ask -- and they will, because I'm supposed to be "out there" where people can see me and ask questions like that -- I will be able to explain what I do in a way that is accurate and doesn't needlessly push buttons. (I'm sure button-pushing will be necessary on occasion, but I don't want to do it without intent.)

This of course comes back to the subject of updating my profile here. If I can do one, I'll be well on my way to accomplishing the other as well.

Comments

[oakmouse]

Here's a question to consider: would you stumble like that if you mom wasn't present?

[oakmouse]

*Your* mom.

That's what I get for typing with a glass of water in one hand. *g*

[shadowandstar.livejournal.com]

The fact that it was Mom definitely upped the ante on the question -- but I think I would have found it almost as great a challenge talking to anyone who didn't have a frame of reference in which "dark goddess" meant anything but Halloween spookiness or bad "black magic" fiction.

On the other hand, I really should acknowledge that it is very cool that my mom is engaging in the class as a sincere seeker, and that she asks questions like this from a real desire to understand.

[oakmouse]

Oh, it's extremely cool that your Mom is there and dealing with things that are clearly challenging her. Yay for her! Still, my first thought was, how much was the fact that it was her asking a cause of the problems in articulating your path? I thought it was worth asking. Your response seems right on target.

[lupagreenwolf.livejournal.com]

It's tough trying to explain "dark" to someone who sees it in a very dualistic format. I think the fact that she's willing to at least try to understand is a great sign; I think over time you may be able to make it clearer.

[shadowandstar.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the vote of confidence. I certainly hope so!

[queenofhalves]

marking this because i'd like to come back to it... in my trad, we talk a great deal about claiming our darkness, because that's where our strength is -- especially in the parts of us that are primal.

dark paths are paths toward wholeness. i don't know if there's any other way.

[shadowandstar.livejournal.com]

I agree with you.

If you have additional language you use to communicate that to people without a background like ours, I'd love to hear about it.

[morgwensraven.livejournal.com]

I know it's a little trite, but if I'm just in a bad mood or don't have much time.. "How can you appreciate the light without the dark?" My Lady tends to be very.. um.. not pleased with that commentary, but it's true.

OTherwise, for me, it's like being adopted by a rather strict family.. I have to learn from the elder Sister before I get to relax and learn more from the rest of the family..


btw, *waves* thought I had added you months ago.. just now piecing things together and found that I missed alot here.

[shadowandstar.livejournal.com]

*waves

I was definitely surprised when I got the notification that you'd added me as a friend!

Glad to see you here. :-)