Upcoming Initiation
Jun. 12th, 2008 08:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
qosOver the Fourth of July weekend I will be driving 500 miles to visit my teacher for a few days. During this time, I am going to be initiated as an underworld priestess under the auspices of Ereshkigal.
As is frequently the case for a formal initiation, my teacher is telling me only what I absolutely must know to prepare. I've been asked to bring a black robe, a cord that is slightly longer than I am tall (discerning the proper color was one of my preparatory tasks), and a cloth blindfold. Because I will be working with Ereshkigal, and because of the nature of my personal path, the initiation will involve a descent, but I won't know the nature of it beforehand.
I am excited, but a bit nervous as well. Ereshkigal will be participating directly, through my teacher, and the prospect of facing Her in this context -- even through an intermediary -- is unsettling. However, I've worked with her enough over the past year to know that however formidable -- even scary -- She can be, Her interest in me is benevolant. She wants me to be Her priestess. I may well be scared during the initiation, but I feel confident trusting Her -- and my teacher.
Even though I don't have specific tasks to do beyond the gathering of the items above, I can feel my energy pulling in and focusing toward the ritual, without my having made a conscious decision to do so. On one level it's a bit frustrating because I want to know what's going to happen -- but another part of me is content to relax and allow myself to be taken by the Mystery. And maybe the intensity junkie in me is starting to get just a bit excited at the prospect of the most intense experience I will have had in quite some time.
As is frequently the case for a formal initiation, my teacher is telling me only what I absolutely must know to prepare. I've been asked to bring a black robe, a cord that is slightly longer than I am tall (discerning the proper color was one of my preparatory tasks), and a cloth blindfold. Because I will be working with Ereshkigal, and because of the nature of my personal path, the initiation will involve a descent, but I won't know the nature of it beforehand.
I am excited, but a bit nervous as well. Ereshkigal will be participating directly, through my teacher, and the prospect of facing Her in this context -- even through an intermediary -- is unsettling. However, I've worked with her enough over the past year to know that however formidable -- even scary -- She can be, Her interest in me is benevolant. She wants me to be Her priestess. I may well be scared during the initiation, but I feel confident trusting Her -- and my teacher.
Even though I don't have specific tasks to do beyond the gathering of the items above, I can feel my energy pulling in and focusing toward the ritual, without my having made a conscious decision to do so. On one level it's a bit frustrating because I want to know what's going to happen -- but another part of me is content to relax and allow myself to be taken by the Mystery. And maybe the intensity junkie in me is starting to get just a bit excited at the prospect of the most intense experience I will have had in quite some time.
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(no subject)
Date: 2008-06-13 03:44 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-06-13 03:50 am (UTC)Then again. . . some experiences go beyond words.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-06-13 01:30 pm (UTC)I understand what you mean about wanting to know and understanding you have to yield to the Mystery.
Best wishes on your upcoming rite. Hugs.