Day of Reflection -- Labyrinth
Sep. 21st, 2004 06:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
qosI'm working my way up from the ridiculous to the sublime this afternoon. . .
Yesterday I had my first Day of Reflection with the MATS group instead of the M.Div. cohort. I hadn't thought much about that transition until I got to the site and realized suddenly that I was no longer going to be experiencing this ritual with the people I had come to know and care about last year -- and I felt real grief over that. I missed the people, and felt grief that I would not be sharing their journeys in the same way as I had.
The formal program was pleasant enough, but the unexpected highlight of the day for me was walking a labyrinth. I had never done this before. In fact, despite all the glowing words I'd read about such experiences, I had never been interested. My rational mind was entirely unconvinced that walking a twisted pattern painted on the ground could possibly have any kind of positive spiritual impact. (Yes, my spiritual life involves a constant tension between my trusting, intuitive, creative side and my rational, often cynical, intellectual side.)
What struck me almost immediately as I began to walk was that the turns in the path were hairpin turns: they seemed to send me right back where I started from. But that was an illusion, because the path continued onward. I was not walking back where I had come from. The lesson was completely non-subtle, but no less valuable for all that. That was my primary insight on the inward path: that "the road goes ever on and on" even when it first seems like you are retracing your steps.
I was taken entirely by surprise by my experience in the center. I stood in the very center of the center and closed my eyes, and could feel energy pulsing around me. I was vividly reminded about everything I have ever read about the dark caves of initiation in the ancient Pagan faiths. The word omphalos kept repeating in my mind. I felt as though I had stumpled into a cave of Mystery, even though I was standing in a totally exposed flat space in the afternoon sunshine. It was a place of gestation and re-birth. It was profoundly Feminine and sacred.
On the outward journey I was aware of re-tracing my steps but being on a different journey. More vividly, I felt that I had left a dead skin and excess baggage back in the Center, and that I was going forward lighter. All that I did not need, that no longer served me, had been left behind. I was re-born, but not new. I carried with me all the gifts and strengths of my previous journey/life. I wanted to run or skip through the path, I felt so light.
It was only this afternoon, as I reflected again, that I remembered my repeating Queen of Wands, and the Kali aspect of destruction and creation that continues to resonate with me. I had a gentle experience of that energy yesterday.
The rest of the afternoon, I felt very peaceful and centered.
It was truly an amazing experience, in a very quiet way.
Yesterday I had my first Day of Reflection with the MATS group instead of the M.Div. cohort. I hadn't thought much about that transition until I got to the site and realized suddenly that I was no longer going to be experiencing this ritual with the people I had come to know and care about last year -- and I felt real grief over that. I missed the people, and felt grief that I would not be sharing their journeys in the same way as I had.
The formal program was pleasant enough, but the unexpected highlight of the day for me was walking a labyrinth. I had never done this before. In fact, despite all the glowing words I'd read about such experiences, I had never been interested. My rational mind was entirely unconvinced that walking a twisted pattern painted on the ground could possibly have any kind of positive spiritual impact. (Yes, my spiritual life involves a constant tension between my trusting, intuitive, creative side and my rational, often cynical, intellectual side.)
What struck me almost immediately as I began to walk was that the turns in the path were hairpin turns: they seemed to send me right back where I started from. But that was an illusion, because the path continued onward. I was not walking back where I had come from. The lesson was completely non-subtle, but no less valuable for all that. That was my primary insight on the inward path: that "the road goes ever on and on" even when it first seems like you are retracing your steps.
I was taken entirely by surprise by my experience in the center. I stood in the very center of the center and closed my eyes, and could feel energy pulsing around me. I was vividly reminded about everything I have ever read about the dark caves of initiation in the ancient Pagan faiths. The word omphalos kept repeating in my mind. I felt as though I had stumpled into a cave of Mystery, even though I was standing in a totally exposed flat space in the afternoon sunshine. It was a place of gestation and re-birth. It was profoundly Feminine and sacred.
On the outward journey I was aware of re-tracing my steps but being on a different journey. More vividly, I felt that I had left a dead skin and excess baggage back in the Center, and that I was going forward lighter. All that I did not need, that no longer served me, had been left behind. I was re-born, but not new. I carried with me all the gifts and strengths of my previous journey/life. I wanted to run or skip through the path, I felt so light.
It was only this afternoon, as I reflected again, that I remembered my repeating Queen of Wands, and the Kali aspect of destruction and creation that continues to resonate with me. I had a gentle experience of that energy yesterday.
The rest of the afternoon, I felt very peaceful and centered.
It was truly an amazing experience, in a very quiet way.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2004-09-21 06:57 pm (UTC)i've never had such a profound experience in a labyrinth as you just described, but i do find walking one to be a much more complex and interesting experience than one would think walking a design on a floor would be.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-09-21 07:44 pm (UTC)What a beautiful experience. I appreciate the fact that you have a cynical, rational side; I hear echoes of my own cautious, skeptical spirituality in your words.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-09-22 08:14 am (UTC)(btw, I like your icon :)
(no subject)
Date: 2004-09-22 05:26 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-09-22 05:49 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-09-22 05:55 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-09-22 05:59 am (UTC)I always enjoy hearing how people translate issues and ideas into artistic metaphors, especially when their symbolic language and/or their chosen medium is different than what comes naturally to me.