Time Travel?
Jan. 9th, 2008 05:49 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
qosOn the last day of the "Watcher on the Threshold" phase, I did the deepest meditation I had in weeks. During most of this time, I had been too distracted and/or distant -- or too frightened of what I might encounter -- to go inward to any significant degree. Facing the inner darkness was important.
I was so deep that I began to feel as if my spirit might be able to leave my body. This happens sometimes, but usually all that happens is that I feel part of my energy rise a little above and beyond certain parts of my body. I've tried to slip free to do astral travel, but it's never worked.
This time there was a difference. I've been wanting to recover past life memories, something I've only done once before -- and that had been initiated and protected by LM in a very intense intimate situation.
Sitting there alone in my rocking chair, I used the sense of my energy being free of my body to take myself even further inward. Eventually it felt as if I was swimming in a kind of in-between place. I shaped the intention of moving backward in time, and created a deliberate swimming motion to reinforce it.
Eventually I saw a large round copper or bronze brooch, the kind used to fasten a cloak. I focused on the brooch and tried to let the surrounding details surface. It seemed to work. Eventually I saw myself looking down at the brooch as it held a length of heavy maroon cloth around my shoulders. Then I saw the man who had given it to me as a courtship gift, and his smiling explanation that now I would be able to have my hands free instead of needing to hold my cloak in place. I had the impression that my family was not well off, and we would never have had the money for even a simple ornament like this one. We walked together. He asked if I would marry him, and I said yes. Then I saw him asking my father's permission. My father was confused. Why would a man of his stature want to marry his daughter, who had so little to bring him? His answer is something I'm keeping private.
The events are so romantic it's easy to doubt they are an actual memory. Or maybe some is real and some not. But when it was time to come back, it was very hard to pull out of the vision. Usually I can snap out of things, but I had to exert a considerable amount of will to pull free from wherever I was, and it was hard to swim back to the present. I had to call on my inner gatekeeper for help, and he closed the door very quickly behind me. There was no sense of threat, just inertia.
Authentic past life memory?
Unproven.
But a fascinating experience, and -- as LM used to say -- "It's a good story."
I was so deep that I began to feel as if my spirit might be able to leave my body. This happens sometimes, but usually all that happens is that I feel part of my energy rise a little above and beyond certain parts of my body. I've tried to slip free to do astral travel, but it's never worked.
This time there was a difference. I've been wanting to recover past life memories, something I've only done once before -- and that had been initiated and protected by LM in a very intense intimate situation.
Sitting there alone in my rocking chair, I used the sense of my energy being free of my body to take myself even further inward. Eventually it felt as if I was swimming in a kind of in-between place. I shaped the intention of moving backward in time, and created a deliberate swimming motion to reinforce it.
Eventually I saw a large round copper or bronze brooch, the kind used to fasten a cloak. I focused on the brooch and tried to let the surrounding details surface. It seemed to work. Eventually I saw myself looking down at the brooch as it held a length of heavy maroon cloth around my shoulders. Then I saw the man who had given it to me as a courtship gift, and his smiling explanation that now I would be able to have my hands free instead of needing to hold my cloak in place. I had the impression that my family was not well off, and we would never have had the money for even a simple ornament like this one. We walked together. He asked if I would marry him, and I said yes. Then I saw him asking my father's permission. My father was confused. Why would a man of his stature want to marry his daughter, who had so little to bring him? His answer is something I'm keeping private.
The events are so romantic it's easy to doubt they are an actual memory. Or maybe some is real and some not. But when it was time to come back, it was very hard to pull out of the vision. Usually I can snap out of things, but I had to exert a considerable amount of will to pull free from wherever I was, and it was hard to swim back to the present. I had to call on my inner gatekeeper for help, and he closed the door very quickly behind me. There was no sense of threat, just inertia.
Authentic past life memory?
Unproven.
But a fascinating experience, and -- as LM used to say -- "It's a good story."
