Gloves, Memory, Power, Opening
Dec. 1st, 2007 02:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
qosThe last few days have been challenging from a spiritual practice perspective. Every time I tried to turn inward I felt like I was meeting static, and my physical insides weren't feeling too good either. This morning, however, I woke up feeling clear inside and out.
I dreamed last night that Ereshkigal gave me a pair of gauntlets that symbolized my ability to open the gates of the Underworld. This is a significant step as a priestess, and means that when the time comes I will be able to preside over an authentic Descent for another person.
At my teacher's suggestion, I've started working with Learning Ritual Magic, by Greer, Vaughn, and King, in order to start learning some disciplined magical techniques. I'm blending the work into my existing practice, and will trust that between the guidance of the gods and my teacher I won't take on too much at one time. But it seems to be the right time for me to start learning these things.
The last step of my morning practice is to sit in a chair and make direct contact with the Divine. My yoga and energy practices have opened me up internally, and this is the time when I reach out/in to make contact with my deities and guides. Every morning I sit in the same place: in the upholstered glider rocker that my dad got me when I was pregnant. It's got good lumbar support and is comfortable, and has worked very well for being both relaxed and alert. Until today.
Today when I sat down I felt This isn't right. This chair is not holding me in the proper alignment. My body and spirit wanted a plain wooden chair with a flat seat and straight back. As I was remembering that I don't own any chairs like that, I suddenly had a sensory memory. I was sitting in the kind of chair my body was asking for, and that chair was set on a cube-like platform. Not very high, but elevated for a purpose. The room was large and open in front of me, and there were people there, but I couldn't see them. I knew that I was a priestess -- perhaps a high priestess -- or a leader of a lodge. Above my head was a glowing ball of light. I didn't know if it was part of my own energy or part of a headpiece of some kind. I tried to get more information, a sense of place or time or identity, but that's all that came.
I thanked the goddesses for the memory, then asked Ereshkigal, Isis and Freyja to help me effectively blend and combine the different paths I'm working on right now: the underworld, the hierodule, the hermetic, the faery. . . Then I asked them for power, power to act, to do right in the world.
All my life I've had fantasies of leadership of all kinds, and I've offered a lot of prayers to be able to achieve specific tasks or overcome specific obstacles. Never before this morning have I prayed to be powerful, to be potent. It was only after I'd offered the prayer and then affirmed it that I realized what I'd done and how significant it was.
Then I felt a sensation between my heart and my throat as if something was cracking open: an egg, a seal, something formerly so solid I didn't realize it could open. I didn't understand what was happening, but I knew it was significant.
During my conversation with my teacher later this morning, she said that I seem to have reached two key milestones. The first was the prayer to be of service to the light. I'd prayed those words before, but evidently this one was different. Maybe it had more intent behind it?
The second milestone is the opening of Da'at. I can't remember everything she said about this, since I have only a passing familiarity with Qabala, but part of it is the opening up of psychic power. For years I've felt/believed that I should be able to do and perceive more than I can, but I had no idea how to access those hidden or blocked places. It seems that this block is at least starting to crumble away.
I dreamed last night that Ereshkigal gave me a pair of gauntlets that symbolized my ability to open the gates of the Underworld. This is a significant step as a priestess, and means that when the time comes I will be able to preside over an authentic Descent for another person.
At my teacher's suggestion, I've started working with Learning Ritual Magic, by Greer, Vaughn, and King, in order to start learning some disciplined magical techniques. I'm blending the work into my existing practice, and will trust that between the guidance of the gods and my teacher I won't take on too much at one time. But it seems to be the right time for me to start learning these things.
The last step of my morning practice is to sit in a chair and make direct contact with the Divine. My yoga and energy practices have opened me up internally, and this is the time when I reach out/in to make contact with my deities and guides. Every morning I sit in the same place: in the upholstered glider rocker that my dad got me when I was pregnant. It's got good lumbar support and is comfortable, and has worked very well for being both relaxed and alert. Until today.
Today when I sat down I felt This isn't right. This chair is not holding me in the proper alignment. My body and spirit wanted a plain wooden chair with a flat seat and straight back. As I was remembering that I don't own any chairs like that, I suddenly had a sensory memory. I was sitting in the kind of chair my body was asking for, and that chair was set on a cube-like platform. Not very high, but elevated for a purpose. The room was large and open in front of me, and there were people there, but I couldn't see them. I knew that I was a priestess -- perhaps a high priestess -- or a leader of a lodge. Above my head was a glowing ball of light. I didn't know if it was part of my own energy or part of a headpiece of some kind. I tried to get more information, a sense of place or time or identity, but that's all that came.
I thanked the goddesses for the memory, then asked Ereshkigal, Isis and Freyja to help me effectively blend and combine the different paths I'm working on right now: the underworld, the hierodule, the hermetic, the faery. . . Then I asked them for power, power to act, to do right in the world.
All my life I've had fantasies of leadership of all kinds, and I've offered a lot of prayers to be able to achieve specific tasks or overcome specific obstacles. Never before this morning have I prayed to be powerful, to be potent. It was only after I'd offered the prayer and then affirmed it that I realized what I'd done and how significant it was.
Then I felt a sensation between my heart and my throat as if something was cracking open: an egg, a seal, something formerly so solid I didn't realize it could open. I didn't understand what was happening, but I knew it was significant.
During my conversation with my teacher later this morning, she said that I seem to have reached two key milestones. The first was the prayer to be of service to the light. I'd prayed those words before, but evidently this one was different. Maybe it had more intent behind it?
The second milestone is the opening of Da'at. I can't remember everything she said about this, since I have only a passing familiarity with Qabala, but part of it is the opening up of psychic power. For years I've felt/believed that I should be able to do and perceive more than I can, but I had no idea how to access those hidden or blocked places. It seems that this block is at least starting to crumble away.
