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qosYesterday I called the gym and gave them my two weeks notice. As much as I like their program, I simply can not afford $280/month, and the downtown location makes it hard to get there if I'm at all tired or stressed. It's a long way out of the way from either my home or my work.
I had a tough workout last night (they all are, actually), came home, hung out with The Child, took a shower, and read the first chapter of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban with her. Which was all nice. Because I took a late shower and washed my hair, and because Jeannie will be at an off-site today, I set my alarm back by about 20 minutes.
But this morning I had a vivid stress dream. I was sitting with three other women on the top of some vehicle. It could have been a stagecoach, or it could have been a car with a strange seating arrangement. My Ex was driving from below, and the four of us women were crammed in together up top. We crossed through a small business area, then toward the freeway on-ramp. As we headed up the ramp, I realized it was raining -- and that even if it had not been, I did not want to be perched up where I was at freeway speeds. So I called down to my Ex that I was sorry for the awkward timing, but I wanted to get down, to come inside the vehicle. "I'll stop in an hour or so," he replied. "You'll stop now," I said.
But when he pulled over, it was in a bad neighborhood, and soon we were being attacked by thugs. I was inside the car, but the Ex had vanished. Some young man with a knife was outside on the drivers side. The drivers seat was empty. I moved over into the drivers seat and tried to roll up the window with one hand while turning the wheel toward the attacker with the other, furiously wondering why someone hadn't done this before.
He struck at me with the knife, and I turned the car harder toward him, eventually threatening him with being crushed. I'm not clear if I did crush him or if he withdrew, but he ceased to be a danger.
But there were others out there. I got out of the car, somehow managed to get my own knife (maybe taking it from someone?) and counter-attacked. I remember deliberately striking out and steeling myself to feel the blade actually go into someone else's body. The attackers, in the way of bullies, were upset that I had the temerity to attack them, and by the fact that I kept hitting them. They went away, too.
The last attacker had a kind of workshop space, and he threw what looked like a cylinder of peatmoss at me that smoked. It was supposed to be a bomb. I couldn't take it seriously, and simply gave it a wide berth. Two of my women companions were seated at the worktable. They didn't move until I came up and around the other side and verbally pushed them into motion. "Come on, take some initiative!" I shouted at them, while driving the bad guy off with my knife.
We all got out of there, and that's when I woke up with my neck so tight it hurt. And I heard the sound of pouring rain through my open window. Rain that sounds like that usually means water in my house by the end of the day. I got up 45 minutes before my alarm, verified that my floor was dry, took two Tylenol, and went back to bed. No good. All I could think about was flooding, getting my stuff up off the floor, and all the things I have to do at work today which means that staying home to monitor my floor is not so good an idea. I have the upstairs folks to keep an eye on things. And I'll leave some towels down in the danger spots. The big leaks seem to be fixed; what's left are the minor annoyances.
On the other hand, I did win several knife fights last night, which puts an undercurrent of ferocious satisfaction under the stress.
If folks want to send me good energy today, it would be much appreciated!
I had a tough workout last night (they all are, actually), came home, hung out with The Child, took a shower, and read the first chapter of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban with her. Which was all nice. Because I took a late shower and washed my hair, and because Jeannie will be at an off-site today, I set my alarm back by about 20 minutes.
But this morning I had a vivid stress dream. I was sitting with three other women on the top of some vehicle. It could have been a stagecoach, or it could have been a car with a strange seating arrangement. My Ex was driving from below, and the four of us women were crammed in together up top. We crossed through a small business area, then toward the freeway on-ramp. As we headed up the ramp, I realized it was raining -- and that even if it had not been, I did not want to be perched up where I was at freeway speeds. So I called down to my Ex that I was sorry for the awkward timing, but I wanted to get down, to come inside the vehicle. "I'll stop in an hour or so," he replied. "You'll stop now," I said.
But when he pulled over, it was in a bad neighborhood, and soon we were being attacked by thugs. I was inside the car, but the Ex had vanished. Some young man with a knife was outside on the drivers side. The drivers seat was empty. I moved over into the drivers seat and tried to roll up the window with one hand while turning the wheel toward the attacker with the other, furiously wondering why someone hadn't done this before.
He struck at me with the knife, and I turned the car harder toward him, eventually threatening him with being crushed. I'm not clear if I did crush him or if he withdrew, but he ceased to be a danger.
But there were others out there. I got out of the car, somehow managed to get my own knife (maybe taking it from someone?) and counter-attacked. I remember deliberately striking out and steeling myself to feel the blade actually go into someone else's body. The attackers, in the way of bullies, were upset that I had the temerity to attack them, and by the fact that I kept hitting them. They went away, too.
The last attacker had a kind of workshop space, and he threw what looked like a cylinder of peatmoss at me that smoked. It was supposed to be a bomb. I couldn't take it seriously, and simply gave it a wide berth. Two of my women companions were seated at the worktable. They didn't move until I came up and around the other side and verbally pushed them into motion. "Come on, take some initiative!" I shouted at them, while driving the bad guy off with my knife.
We all got out of there, and that's when I woke up with my neck so tight it hurt. And I heard the sound of pouring rain through my open window. Rain that sounds like that usually means water in my house by the end of the day. I got up 45 minutes before my alarm, verified that my floor was dry, took two Tylenol, and went back to bed. No good. All I could think about was flooding, getting my stuff up off the floor, and all the things I have to do at work today which means that staying home to monitor my floor is not so good an idea. I have the upstairs folks to keep an eye on things. And I'll leave some towels down in the danger spots. The big leaks seem to be fixed; what's left are the minor annoyances.
On the other hand, I did win several knife fights last night, which puts an undercurrent of ferocious satisfaction under the stress.
If folks want to send me good energy today, it would be much appreciated!
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I wish you
Date: 2004-09-01 06:53 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-09-01 07:43 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-09-01 07:59 pm (UTC)