Metanoia

[qos]

In this video from August 2007, the Republican mayor of San Diego offers an emotional explanation of why he is reversing his previously stated opinion and is now supporting the rights of gays and lesbians to marry.

What I find most interesting is the reason for his reversal: that he has a daughter, staff, and friends who are gay or lesbian, and in the end he found he could not look them in the eye and tell them that they and their relationships were less worthy.

Isn't this what it comes down to in so many cases? It's easy to label The Other as a danger or threat so long as they remain safely, distantly, Other. As soon as they stop being Other and start having a name, start being a real person, someone you work with, or a member of your family, perhaps even the person next door, then the old fear-based judgements can not stand -- if your heart is open.

Thanks to the friend who posted this.

Comments

[tx-cronopio.livejournal.com]

I loved that he was so emotional -- no way to take him as anything but sincere. Thanks for spreading the word!

[iswari.livejournal.com]

Wow, I may post that, too.

[veronica-milvus.livejournal.com]

I agree it is so hard to hold a prejudice when you actually meet the people concerned. Individuals are not stereotypes! Thank goodness for people likr this guy, well done him.

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

That was beautiful. It took tremendous courage for him to publicly admit he was wrong to plan to support "separate but equal" legislation.

[parisgarters.livejournal.com]

So powerful.

[silverhawkdruid.livejournal.com]

I am crying here... What a guy to stand up and do the right thing. His family and friends must be so proud!

That was beautiful! Gods bless him!

[athenian-abroad.livejournal.com]

Well...from the perspective of sheer political calculation, I'm obviously happy to have all the allies I can get, and a late conversion is better than none. And yet. Can I be the only one who finds this genre ("I suddenly realized that gay people were actual human beings when -- to my amazement -- I noticed that I know one! Or two, even!") more than a little bit annoying?

It strikes me like a case study out of Piaget, in which the subject trapped in some early, immature stage of moral development in which empathy cannot be extended to anyone who isn't "like" the folks they've met personally. In a world of small hunter-gatherer bands, perhaps such a stunted moral imagination would be harmless. But in the 21st century, the inability to intuit that people the likes of whom you've never encountered are nevertheless fully human is a crippling defect, and ought to be a disqualification from any position of community leadership.

So I'm glad that Jerry Sanders's daughter and staff were able to make gay people "real" for him. But I have to wonder: who will make pagans "real" for Mayor Sanders? Or kinky people? Or -- shudder! -- atheists? Or Muslims? Who else's humanity hasn't yet dawned on the Mayor of San Diego?

[qos.livejournal.com]

I can't disagree with anything you've written here -- but I also think that however much we may wish that people didn't need to suddenly discover "My goodness! I actually know a gay/pagan/kinky/trans person and - gasp! - they're not a danger to society!" that seems to be the way the process works. Or at least gets started.

[amqu.livejournal.com]

It sounds like he never had a principled stand for his original opinion and therefore it can be changed by emotional appeal.

[qos.livejournal.com]

Not trying to argue, but I'm curious what you think is a valid reason for changing a principled original opinion.

[amqu.livejournal.com]

I don't think an emotional appeal is necessarily the wrong way to go about changing someone's mind. Humans are emotional beings. Abolitionists appealed to emotion in order to show the evils of slavery.

However, I believe that reason also must be appealed to or you run the risk of losing your new convert everytime someone gives him a "better" emotional pitch.

I'm inclined to agree with athenian_abroad, that this guy simply held this view out of ignorance of the other side rather than a principled stand on the issue. If he truly feels gay marriage is a civil rights issue, why didn't he think that when he didn't know any gay people? Does he only think people like himself deserve civil rights?

[spring-heel-jim.livejournal.com]

Really interesting post.

Completely agree with you - it's very easy to demonise someone or something that you don't know. Much harder to do that when you are faced with it in real life...