The Fear Factor
Feb. 12th, 2008 09:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
qosOne way I can evaluate the depth/vitality of my spiritual life is in the degree of fear I feel about certain situations: traveling by air, for exampe -- or riding in elevators, or driving to unfamiliar places. During my not-spiritually-grounded times, I will feel intense anxiety about air travel at least a month in advance, climb six or eight flights of stairs rather than step into a well-maintained elevator, or get stressed out driving someplace I've never been before.
I'm not going to enjoy my flights this weekend, but I'm not frightened. I've been taking the elevator regularly at work without anxiety (although I still am not fond of the one in![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
_storyteller_'s apartment building). And on Sunday evening I made the mistake of using Mapquest instead of calling a girlfriend for directions to her house from my new place, and ended up driving alone, in the dark, in the pouring rain, in the sticks, with my car making funny noises, but not feeling at all worried.
I've been upset and frustrated recently because I've felt like I've completely lost touch with my spiritual practice for weeks, but these indicators let me know that things aren't as bad as I've been thinking they are. Then there's the sage comfort offered by a friend: Just because you haven't been doing your practices doesn't mean you haven't been working.
On some level, something is working.
I'm not going to enjoy my flights this weekend, but I'm not frightened. I've been taking the elevator regularly at work without anxiety (although I still am not fond of the one in
_storyteller_'s apartment building). And on Sunday evening I made the mistake of using Mapquest instead of calling a girlfriend for directions to her house from my new place, and ended up driving alone, in the dark, in the pouring rain, in the sticks, with my car making funny noises, but not feeling at all worried.I've been upset and frustrated recently because I've felt like I've completely lost touch with my spiritual practice for weeks, but these indicators let me know that things aren't as bad as I've been thinking they are. Then there's the sage comfort offered by a friend: Just because you haven't been doing your practices doesn't mean you haven't been working.
On some level, something is working.
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(no subject)
Date: 2008-02-13 05:41 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-02-13 07:35 am (UTC)Apparently you are doing something very well.
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Date: 2008-02-13 07:20 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-02-13 08:29 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-02-19 08:08 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-02-19 01:01 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-02-20 05:36 am (UTC)