Spiritual Director
Apr. 24th, 2004 08:25 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
qosIn response to my last entry, in which I mentioned the invitation to become a spiritual director to one person in the Companis program, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
queenofhalves wrote, "It sounds like a sign to me!"
I was thinking the same thing about the sign, and about God/dess presenting me with opportunities now that I've declared my path. But I'm also reluctant to just say Yes. I am worried about overconfidence, and the impact my lack of formal training may have on someone else.
On the other hand, it's not like I spent only a few minutes chatting with Craig. He and I talked for about six hours, and a significant chunk of that was about religion, my path and beliefs, and a couple of episodes in which I did offer spiritual direction informally. When we finally said goodbye, about four hours after he had made the initial invitation, he told me that he was even more sure I would be right for it than when we started. As "job interviews" go, it was a fairly in-depth one.
I emailed my non-LJ friends last night with the same information I posted here, including my caution about saying "Yes, I will be a director for one of your volunteers," and my friend the LifeCoach responded with, "We all know that you are absolutely ready to serve as someone's spiritual director. You have been for some time now. Claim and live your dream, my dear! You'll be remarkable in your guidance and support."
I was officially a "general" major in theater, because I had lacked the confidence to declare a directing major. For my senior exercise, I wrote a thesis which was a director's analysis of three plays about Queen Christina of Sweden (a woman with significant gender and religious issues - fascinating character). My thesis committee said, "It would be a shame for you to do all this prep work and not actually direct a play." When I temporized that I didn't have the experience -- I had only actually directed a five minute fairy tale for the level 1 directing class, they told me "Well, do a staged reading." And the directing prof told me that it could be presented as my final project for the level 2 class the spring semester of my senior year.
Okie-dokie. After I finished my thesis, I made copies of a play by Ruth Wolff called "The Abdication" and recruited two of my favorite acting majors to play the leads. I held auditions and sent everyone home for Christmas break with their scripts. When we came back in January, my cast immediately started telling me that we needed to "do the play for real." They were so excited by the story and the parts they wanted to put up an actual performance. I tried to caution them that I wasn't experienced enough. They refused to accept that. "We believe in you," they replied, and immediately started coming up with suggestions for where we could mount a production and which design and building roles (costume, lighting, set) they could each perform. I found myself chasing my cast as they charged forward.
Complications ensued with the department and my prof. (I ended up having to direct *another* play for my class project.) But my Abdication cast never wavered in their confidence in me, and in March we did two black box studio performances in the "Smudge Pot" performance space at the student center. And it was wonderful. It turned out that I did know how to direct, that my cast had been right. (Not only that, but my class project was well received, and I was successful stage managing that un-cut production of Hamlet I've mentioned a few times -- with all three projects overlapping.)
I'm feeling that way this morning: those around me have more confidence in me than I do. I just received another email from a woman in my WIT group saying, "Steph is right - the Angels have heard your dream. . .embrace the opportunity!"
I'm still going to pray about this. . .
queenofhalves wrote, "It sounds like a sign to me!"I was thinking the same thing about the sign, and about God/dess presenting me with opportunities now that I've declared my path. But I'm also reluctant to just say Yes. I am worried about overconfidence, and the impact my lack of formal training may have on someone else.
On the other hand, it's not like I spent only a few minutes chatting with Craig. He and I talked for about six hours, and a significant chunk of that was about religion, my path and beliefs, and a couple of episodes in which I did offer spiritual direction informally. When we finally said goodbye, about four hours after he had made the initial invitation, he told me that he was even more sure I would be right for it than when we started. As "job interviews" go, it was a fairly in-depth one.
I emailed my non-LJ friends last night with the same information I posted here, including my caution about saying "Yes, I will be a director for one of your volunteers," and my friend the LifeCoach responded with, "We all know that you are absolutely ready to serve as someone's spiritual director. You have been for some time now. Claim and live your dream, my dear! You'll be remarkable in your guidance and support."
I was officially a "general" major in theater, because I had lacked the confidence to declare a directing major. For my senior exercise, I wrote a thesis which was a director's analysis of three plays about Queen Christina of Sweden (a woman with significant gender and religious issues - fascinating character). My thesis committee said, "It would be a shame for you to do all this prep work and not actually direct a play." When I temporized that I didn't have the experience -- I had only actually directed a five minute fairy tale for the level 1 directing class, they told me "Well, do a staged reading." And the directing prof told me that it could be presented as my final project for the level 2 class the spring semester of my senior year.
Okie-dokie. After I finished my thesis, I made copies of a play by Ruth Wolff called "The Abdication" and recruited two of my favorite acting majors to play the leads. I held auditions and sent everyone home for Christmas break with their scripts. When we came back in January, my cast immediately started telling me that we needed to "do the play for real." They were so excited by the story and the parts they wanted to put up an actual performance. I tried to caution them that I wasn't experienced enough. They refused to accept that. "We believe in you," they replied, and immediately started coming up with suggestions for where we could mount a production and which design and building roles (costume, lighting, set) they could each perform. I found myself chasing my cast as they charged forward.
Complications ensued with the department and my prof. (I ended up having to direct *another* play for my class project.) But my Abdication cast never wavered in their confidence in me, and in March we did two black box studio performances in the "Smudge Pot" performance space at the student center. And it was wonderful. It turned out that I did know how to direct, that my cast had been right. (Not only that, but my class project was well received, and I was successful stage managing that un-cut production of Hamlet I've mentioned a few times -- with all three projects overlapping.)
I'm feeling that way this morning: those around me have more confidence in me than I do. I just received another email from a woman in my WIT group saying, "Steph is right - the Angels have heard your dream. . .embrace the opportunity!"
I'm still going to pray about this. . .
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(no subject)
Date: 2004-04-24 09:26 am (UTC)i will give you the advice that i keep giving to myself: if you do this, you will probably feel inadequate at times, and you will probably do a few things that you'll think of as mistakes. that doesn't mean you're not ready, or that you're not on the right path. those things happen even with formal training. everybody has to be a beginner sometime.
and i completely agree with your friends. you seem perfectly ready to me. those of us on your friends list do a lot of informal spiritual directing for each other, and you've been very helpful to me. :>
perhaps it will help to think of your spiritual directing as more of a companion-type role than as a teacher-student role? being someone's spiritual director doesn't mean you have to have all the answers.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-04-24 09:34 am (UTC)Good point. In fact, Craig used the term "spiritual companion" as often as he did "spiritual director." The two terms are used synonymously in many conversations or articles on the topic, but they certainly carry different associations in regards to the nature of the relationship.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-04-24 09:42 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-04-24 12:32 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-04-24 02:27 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-04-24 01:29 pm (UTC)Obviously this didn't work. However, I did learn some things from it (which you probably already know).
1. When you've given all you've got and you have no more to give - say stop. Make sure the person knows that you aren't an endless well and you have a right to terminate the relationship or even put it on hold.
2. Study a bit about transference understanding that it never goes like the books say.
3. Prepare for a time when the other person decides to terminate the relationship and be ready to hear all the ways you let them down.
4. Pray :)
(no subject)
Date: 2004-04-26 06:08 am (UTC)The spiritual director position is a bit different from that of being a sponsor, in that one goes into the relationship with an understanding that your director is not "on call" -- but contact is almost always limited to one 60-90 minute session a month. But your points are still valid and helpful. I hadn't even thought about transference, nor #3.