The Grail Path
Mar. 26th, 2004 09:14 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
qosI had a wonderful evening yesterday with my inner circle of women friends from church. Together we call ourselves WIT – Women in Transition. They have been with me every step of the way through my frustration and despair over my lack of a ‘real’ career more than a year ago, my discernment process, the discovery of my sense of vocation, my application to seminary and all that has followed. They unabashedly celebrated my step away from traditional ministry, telling me that they I was seeming much more like myself again.
Something else I had realized during my last weekend of Christology class was that while I have indeed been reveling in my classes, I was also aware of my spiritual borders contracting. I was losing touch with the Goddess energy, to put it most simply. I was losing touch with the magic, the wild, the non-rational. And that worried me. I put it down to my sustained intellectual focus on Christian theology – but there was also an awareness – perhaps the first that seriously precipitated my recent crisis – of a pressure to conform to the institutional norms of my instructors’ faith paths, to the exclusion of what was “Other.”
There are some things that are and may always be “Other” to me – but my spiritual embrace is fairly wide. And when I get down to the root of it, I am not willing to draw a box around my spiritual life. I have looked into the Void, and found the Divine Mystery beyond the Void, and no box can do justice to the Mystery. Traditions are valuable, and I certainly don’t think the less of people who find richness and nurturing within a tradition – but I can not abide within one.
The nature of the Grail Path is to be forever drawn beyond the walls of the sanctuary, no matter how much one loves and respects what is within. I read somewhere (and I wish I could supply proper attribution) that when the Grail Romances were being written, it was almost universally accepted that God was present at every Mass in the mystery of the Host. And yet there were those who were compelled to leave behind tradition, liturgy, and community, to seek for Union finding their own way through the Lands Adventurous. The Grail has never been part of the Church, but always beckons from beyond.
And I must follow.
Something else I had realized during my last weekend of Christology class was that while I have indeed been reveling in my classes, I was also aware of my spiritual borders contracting. I was losing touch with the Goddess energy, to put it most simply. I was losing touch with the magic, the wild, the non-rational. And that worried me. I put it down to my sustained intellectual focus on Christian theology – but there was also an awareness – perhaps the first that seriously precipitated my recent crisis – of a pressure to conform to the institutional norms of my instructors’ faith paths, to the exclusion of what was “Other.”
There are some things that are and may always be “Other” to me – but my spiritual embrace is fairly wide. And when I get down to the root of it, I am not willing to draw a box around my spiritual life. I have looked into the Void, and found the Divine Mystery beyond the Void, and no box can do justice to the Mystery. Traditions are valuable, and I certainly don’t think the less of people who find richness and nurturing within a tradition – but I can not abide within one.
The nature of the Grail Path is to be forever drawn beyond the walls of the sanctuary, no matter how much one loves and respects what is within. I read somewhere (and I wish I could supply proper attribution) that when the Grail Romances were being written, it was almost universally accepted that God was present at every Mass in the mystery of the Host. And yet there were those who were compelled to leave behind tradition, liturgy, and community, to seek for Union finding their own way through the Lands Adventurous. The Grail has never been part of the Church, but always beckons from beyond.
And I must follow.
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Question
Date: 2004-03-26 09:28 am (UTC)Re: Question
Date: 2004-03-26 09:47 am (UTC)The Grail itself takes different forms in different stories: cup, cauldron, green stone. . . In every shape, it symbolizes the point at which the Divine and the human come into contact, and the human is nourished and regenerated. Facilitating this union is, I believe, the point of all religious traditions.
The Grail Seeker perceives that the Divine is a Mystery beyond human comprehension and feels that no single human tradition - however wise and deep - can encompass the truth of the Divine. Because of that, we seek our own path to union, drawing from the riches of what we find and learn in the course our wide travels.
This path is condemned as heretical by some, dismissed as inability-to-commit by others, and considered frightening and lonely by others. But while I find a temporary home from time to time within a congregation or circle, I am always left thirsting for all that is not included within the boundaries of their identity, beliefs and practices.
I am not saying that God/dess can not be found within a faith tradition. But I am never satisfied by what I find there, however wondeful much of it may be. For example: my studies of Swedenborg have enriched my understanding of God, and opened up new perspectives on Christianity, a path that is dear to me. But as rich and as respectful of other traditions as it is, the Swedenborgian church leaves out many other things I cherish. And so I learn, I try to give back, and I continue my journeying.
Does that make sense?
Re: Question
Date: 2004-03-26 04:46 pm (UTC)Yes, I understand what you are saying.
The Grail...symbolizes the point at which the Divine and the human come into contact, and the human is nourished and regenerated.
Other than Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade and Monty Python and the Holy Grail I'm not familiar with any of the grail stories. I don't know if I completely understand what you mean by the Divine and coming into contact with it.
Facilitating this union is, I believe, the point of all religious traditions.
Since I don't have a full understanding of what you mean by that, I don't know if I agree with this or not.
The Grail Seeker perceives that the Divine is a Mystery beyond human comprehension and feels that no single human tradition - however wise and deep - can encompass the truth of the Divine.
We certainly part ways at this viewpoint. Although I feel there is no way any human could completely or even nearly comprehend all that God (or the Divine, I guess) is, he is not a mystery beyond human comprehension. I believe that God has revealed himself to us via the Holy Scriptures, his Son, and his creation. All that God has deemed necessary for us to know about him at this point has been made available to us. I think most of us remain blind to it, however.
But while I find a temporary home from time to time within a congregation or circle, I am always left thirsting for all that is not included within the boundaries of their identity, beliefs and practices.
What is it that you are searching for? I see that you find the mystical to be very important to you. What does that entail?
I found your comments very interesting. Thanks.
Re: Question
Date: 2004-03-26 07:08 pm (UTC)The Holy Grail was the cup Christ used at the Last Supper, and which also has characteristics of the Cauldron of inspiration, transformation and nurturing found in the Pagan lore of Great Britain.
In the stories of Camelot, the Knights of the Round Table receive a vision of the Grail during the Feast of Pentacost. Achieving the Grail will heal the kingdom, which has fallen into disarray morally and in which the crops are failing. In order to find the Grail, the knights went out and met terrible dangers, most of which are symbolic of various spiritual trials. Only three succeeded.
In spiritual terms to "achieve the Grail" is to come into deep and direct contact with the Presence of God, with the result that you yourself are healed and renewed and you become more capable of being a channel of God's love and grace and healing into the world. It's a mythic/symbolic expression of the human hunger for ever-deeper closeness with God.
he is not a mystery beyond human comprehension. I believe that God has revealed himself to us via the Holy Scriptures, his Son, and his creation. All that God has deemed necessary for us to know about him at this point has been made available to us.
I never meant to give the impression that God is not knowable. I agree with a good deal of what you wrote above. The problem -- for me -- the exclusion of everything else God has revealed about himself which lies outside of that tradition. A significant number of Christians that I know consider anything outside the border of Christianity false or irrelevant. I do not agree. I believe that it is possible to know, love and serve God through paths other than Christianity, as well as from within Christianity.
What is it that you are searching for?
I seek an ever-deepening relationship with God, the ability to discern God's will more clearly and the empowerment from God to do His will. I seek to love more unselfishly and more deeply. I seek to help others deepen their relationship with God.
Which, I believe, are very common desires for people committed to a religious or spiritual path. A Christian might ask me, "So why can't you do that within the church?" A Buddhist might ask me the same question about his or her own path. So might a member of any tradition.
But I find that traditions seek to put words in my mouth that are not my own, to dictate the boundaries of acceptable beliefs, and to limit to a narrow band the ways I can approach and name and celebrate the Divine.
Most other people do not have the problems with this that I do.
Re: Question
Date: 2004-03-27 09:16 am (UTC)As an aside, I noticed you said you are a 5 on the Enneagram. I'm a 7. I tend to be pretty concrete in my thinking, so I like to have a lot of details to get the whole picture. You are obviously a very intuitive thinker, and I know my constant questioning can get on the nerves of many intuitives. :) Out of curiosity, have you ever taken the Kiersey personality sorter? I'm an ISTP.
In spiritual terms to "achieve the Grail" is to come into deep and direct contact with the Presence of God, with the result that you yourself are healed and renewed and you become more capable of being a channel of God's love and grace and healing into the world. It's a mythic/symbolic expression of the human hunger for ever-deeper closeness with God.
Oh, then I'm on a grail path, too! But I tend to think of it in somewhat different terms. Firstly, I think the cup that Jesus and his apostles used for the making of the covenant during the last supper probably got washed by the homeowner afterward and put back in his cupboard. So, the symbolism there is lost on me. ;) Although I understand it from your viewpoint and I'm not disparaging it in any way.
But I have dedicated my life to God, and so every action I take should be a reflection of that. Sorry to say, "should be" and "is" don't always match up. I have had for many years a clear picture in my head of the glory of God, how the universe reveals that glory and how we as humans can reflect it. In a way, it's as if I know my place in the universe. Keeping that picture in my head allows me to see the big picture and helps me not to get bogged down with the anxieties of life. You said we have "the human hunger for ever-deeper closeness with God" and I couldn't agree more. That's what I am always striving for. The more I learn about God and the less I allow my human imperfections to block my relationship with him, the more I reflect his glory. Would you consider that a grail path?
As for the "direct contact" with God, I think I get your meaning, although I may be mistaken. I do believe we can be in direct contact with the holy spirit, which I believe is God's force and a way he interacts with his creation. I don't believe we can actually be in contact with the person of God himself.
Oh, wait, I just got a thought. Do you think being in contact with the grail is like being in contact with God because Jesus drank from the cup and it's like you are holding a vessel that God himself held? I know it's symbolism and so you're not thinking of the actual grail. But is that what the symbolism represents?
A significant number of Christians that I know consider anything outside the border of Christianity false or irrelevant. I do not agree. I believe that it is possible to know, love and serve God through paths other than Christianity, as well as from within Christianity.
I do not agree with you here. However, God has given us free will. On a basic level, he gives each one of us great dignity by allowing us to make our own choices, for good or bad. Since I'm trying to reflect God's personality, I also attempt to give each human this same dignity and not force or coerce him into any decisions, and allow him to make his own decisions without judgment. I don't agree with you, but I have enough to worry about working out my own salvation.
I seek an ever-deepening relationship with God, the ability to discern God's will more clearly and the empowerment from God to do His will. I seek to love more unselfishly and more deeply. I seek to help others deepen their relationship with God.
That's beautiful. I agree wholeheartedly and am seeking to do the same.
But I find that traditions seek to put words in my mouth that are not my own, to dictate the boundaries of acceptable beliefs, and to limit to a narrow band the ways I can approach and name and celebrate the Divine.
Most other people do not have the problems with this that I do.
This must be very difficult for you. I hope you find some peace in your journey.
Re: Question
Date: 2004-03-28 10:49 am (UTC)LOL! I think you're probably right!
But, as you also observed, the Grail is a symbol. Imagine a Eucharistic experience without the intermediaries of priest/minister, bread and wine, and you'll get the idea.
If you look back in this exchange, you'll see that we have many points of commonality about what we're looking for and the importance of our spiritual paths and our desires to know God more deeply and express God's love and will more perfectly.
Our differences - as I see it - lie in the paths we each take toward our nearly identical goals. It's my belief that if we all paid less attention to the differences of our paths and more to the common goal, the world would be a much better place.
You pointed out that you too are on a "Grail Path" since you seek what I have identified as the experience of the Grail. For the purposes of this conversation, therefore, I'll shift my defining metaphor to that of the Nomad: the one who always travels, and contrast that with the spiritual path of the Settled One, who may travel widely, but who has a home that remains in one place.
You can give a Nomad a home, offer whole-heartedly to include her in your community, and she may abide with you for a while, but eventually she must follow the call of her own nature beyond the walls again.
I find beautiful expressions of God within the walls of a variety of communities, and I learn from and am nurtured by them -- but the Divine Mystery always calls me to come out beyond the walls again.
Thank you for this conversation. I appreciate it when others are willing to engage deeply in these kinds of discussions, especially those whose beliefs differ from my own. I love to find out more about what others believe and why and what their faith means to them.
Grace and peace abide with you.
Re: Question
Date: 2004-03-28 03:29 pm (UTC)Yes, I'm a Settled One. ;)
Thank you for this conversation. I appreciate it when others are willing to engage deeply in these kinds of discussions, especially those whose beliefs differ from my own. I love to find out more about what others believe and why and what their faith means to them.
I have enjoyed this conversation very much as I also like to learn about others' beliefs and how they think.
Grace and peace abide with you.
And with you as well.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-03-26 09:48 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-03-26 10:36 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-03-26 11:00 am (UTC)Feel free to email me if you ever want to discuss some of this off LJ.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-03-26 11:33 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-03-26 11:39 am (UTC)I've lived for too many years believing that my deepest truths were so idiosyncratic there was no use in my speaking them aloud.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-03-26 11:49 am (UTC)Glad to know that my spouse and I are not the only ones!
(no subject)
Date: 2004-03-26 09:07 pm (UTC)i am wondering if being in community with other eclectics could be enough... if such a thing can be sustained for very long.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-03-27 08:21 am (UTC)Me too! It's easier on so many levels: the fellowship, the consistency, the ability to go deep in the company of like-minded others. . . But this is something I haven't been able to experience since my existential crisis. My faith in God/dess is deeper than ever, but my faith in institutions is minimal.
i am wondering if being in community with other eclectics could be enough... if such a thing can be sustained for very long.
I think it would be very difficult. I know that many of the people who have been attracted to the OAG have had strong hermit tendencies.
For me, things are complicated because I'm a 5 on the enneagram. Community life is hard for me anyway.
I don't know what the answer is.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-03-26 10:18 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-03-27 08:23 am (UTC)I don't *need* to have others tell me they understand me, but it sure is encouraging when it does happen!