Closure - Heartbreak
Jan. 1st, 2007 02:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
qosIn 2006 I let go of the regret, the shame, the guilt, and the bitterness of all my past relationships.
Last spring's ritual of reconcilation with certain aspects of my sexuality was extremely powerful, and had far deeper and longer-lasting impact than I had expected, not just on my sexuality, but on my understanding of my past relationships and the relationship I continue to have with the memories.
The love of![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
_storyteller_ and uncrowned_king played a huge part in this healing, of course. Not just because they re-awakened me to trust, romance, passion, and partnership, but because they listened with patience and understanding as I worked through the last bits of emotional old business with my past. I can't begin to count the number of times I wept as I lay next to them, processing old hurts and regrets, finally truly mourning the loss of the happiness and hopes once shared without the taint of bitterness that had previously prevented clean healing.
Last year at this time I could not imagine being in a relationship without wincing about the obligations and expectations I would be subject to. Today, I take pleasure and security in my partnerships, am grateful for the support I receive and for the chance to offer it in return.
I also celebrate the hard-earned wisdom I gained from my previous relationships, especially in the areas of honesty and the understanding and maintenance of my boundaries. Where previously I would have kept silence or told what I considered to be a white lie in order to preserve peace or spare feelings, I now speak the truth in love, trusting that I will be heard with love and that my feelings and needs will be honored and respected.
Last spring's ritual of reconcilation with certain aspects of my sexuality was extremely powerful, and had far deeper and longer-lasting impact than I had expected, not just on my sexuality, but on my understanding of my past relationships and the relationship I continue to have with the memories.
The love of
_storyteller_ and uncrowned_king played a huge part in this healing, of course. Not just because they re-awakened me to trust, romance, passion, and partnership, but because they listened with patience and understanding as I worked through the last bits of emotional old business with my past. I can't begin to count the number of times I wept as I lay next to them, processing old hurts and regrets, finally truly mourning the loss of the happiness and hopes once shared without the taint of bitterness that had previously prevented clean healing.Last year at this time I could not imagine being in a relationship without wincing about the obligations and expectations I would be subject to. Today, I take pleasure and security in my partnerships, am grateful for the support I receive and for the chance to offer it in return.
I also celebrate the hard-earned wisdom I gained from my previous relationships, especially in the areas of honesty and the understanding and maintenance of my boundaries. Where previously I would have kept silence or told what I considered to be a white lie in order to preserve peace or spare feelings, I now speak the truth in love, trusting that I will be heard with love and that my feelings and needs will be honored and respected.
