Another One Right Between the Eyes

[qos]

You all know that I have troubles with water -- literal water that seeps into my house at all the wrong times and places, and metaphorical, elemental Water that represents the intuitive, the psychic, the unconscious. On the elemental wheel, Swords/Air are directly across from Cups/Water -- and that's the way I've felt all my life. Although I'm genuinely intuitive, I've frequently distrusted and often feared that part of myself.

And the fact that my sister is as intensely Water as I am Air makes it even more complicated.

So here I was this afternoon, minding my own business in the most fundamental sense -- that is, writing in my journal, addressing a series of questions that were suggested by a book I'm working with -- when a list of goals for the year suddenly took a turn, and I started listing them with their elemental associations.

Next to "begin practicing as a spiritual director" I put Pentacles (since this is about business, and finances). But I came back a few minutes later, realizing that there was something missing. Water.

To truly become a spiritual director, I am going to have to become a Queen of Cups: to fully embrace my relationship with intution, with the deep places of the psyche, with diving deep, and doing so as a companion and guide to others. I'll still need my rationality and my discernment, yes -- but unless I can be fully open to my own Water, I'll fall short, and not be able to move with my clients where they need me to go.

I have to become a Queen of Cups, or this isn't going to work.

Excuse me now while I go sit in a corner for a very long time and come to terms with this. . .

Comments

[professor-mom.livejournal.com]

That is a marvelous observation, but take it a step further. We all come from water. As an embryo we all resemble fish somewhat and we exist only in water for the first nine months of our time on earth. So we are all creatures of water who have to be born to and adopt air. And as a mother you are very much a water creature. Mothers contain that water environment for another human being. And mothers also produce milk which is mostly water. (yes, even the ones who don't nurse produce milk for a time.)

And don't get me started on menstrual blood which is water based.

Also, even as we breathe air, we breathe in some moisture. There is always water--humidity in air.

Also don't forget the large amount of water in the pacific ocean--near where you are.

I believe that women who menstruate and people who live near the ocean are heavily influenced by Luna who is very much a water goddess. (In Roman mythology, Diana is Diana on earth. Beneath the earth she is Hecate. When she's in the sky, she is Luna.)