qos: (Inanna)
[personal profile] qos
My living room is clean. The only thing left is running the swiffer over the floor -- which my daughter wants to do once she takes a break.

Then I'm going to take a shower and head out to purchase the remaining items I need for my ritual this afternoon.



Ritual is not my strong point. As I've mentioned before, I grew up in a mainstream, non-denominational Protestant church. We had a gorgeous sanctuary, great sermons, marvelous music, and otherwise entirely "vanilla" services. I cherished my relationship with my church community, and my church was my second home. But as a budding mystic, the center of my personal spiritual life was silent, solitary conversation with God.

Later, when I discovered Wicca after my existential crisis, I loved the descriptions of ritual, but as a solitary who had never 'got' ritual performance, my own attempts were clumsy and unsatisfying. I got impatient with the myriad details and the -- to me -- falseness of the sense that all these words and rituals and scents were necessary to connect with the Divine. Just give me a quiet place, and I'll be just fine, thank you very much. As you might guess, I was never much of a spellcaster, even when I called myself a Witch. I prayed, I didn't need the 'mumbo jumbo' of gathering specific stones or herbs or candles or oils.

None of which is to insult the millions who find beauty, focus, shifting consciousness, community, and a host of other wonderful things in rituals of various kinds. I recognize the tremendous power of ritual. It just hasn't been something I've experienced very often. Ritual tends to alienate me more than draw me in.

Which is why it's very interesting to be preparing to do ritual today for the first time in ages. It's something I need to do to continue healing an important part of my sexual past, to reconcile with and re-invent my relationship with a part of myself that has always been both powerful and problematic. (Yes, I'm being a bit vague here. The whole story is going to wait for the post-ritual, sexuality-poll-filtered post.)

Over the past week or so I've been pondering what objects I need, what acts, what invocations, and etc. It's going to be more elaborate than my usual spiritual practices, but still relatively simple in structure: setting sacred space, invoking allies and a specific deity, lighting white candles to represent specific partners in my past, and then doing some multi-faceted cleansing and consecrating.

Because I feel on a very deep level that going through these actions isn't "just" symbolic. It's necessary for this transition to be as deep and meaningful and effective as possible.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-03-04 08:34 pm (UTC)
queenofhalves: (pentacle)
From: [personal profile] queenofhalves
*nod*

i share your sense that ritual needs to be *for* something for me to really get into it. i've known some practitioners who just have a deep love of ritual for itself, and will do it without any specific intent in mind besides the experience. i only do it when there's an occasion -- though there are a lot of those! -- and i know my intent. then the ritual structure generally just seems obvious, and i know which specific objects i need without having to break out an entire ritual arsenal. :>

(no subject)

Date: 2006-03-04 08:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rhonan.livejournal.com
Too bad you weren't raised Catholic. We've taken ritual to a high art form. I suggest you go to Mass once in a while.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-03-04 08:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] qos.livejournal.com
I have. . . most recently last Easter.

Catholic services always rub my nose in the patriarchalism of the institution, and - again - give me a sense of separation from God. I end up feeling like the priests have this really neat secret that they're letting the common folk share -- but only in little, select pieces.

Again, I know millions find comfort and an increase in faith by participating. It just doesn't have that impact on me.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-03-04 09:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blessed-harlot.livejournal.com
I hope the ritual is super-valuable. Please share when and if you feel it's appropriate.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-03-04 11:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mollya.livejournal.com
This is interesting. Part of what makes ritual maningful for me is that I have been doing the ritual my whole life and it reminds me of other times in my life or doing it with my parents. Another thing that makes ritual meaningful for me is the idea that there are other people all over the world and far back in time who did the same ritual. I think you have a lot of those elements in the description of what you plan to do - invoking other people and other times. The point of the ritual isn't just the ritual - it's everything it is connected to, everything it invokes. You are so right that ritual isn't just symbolic - and it sounds to me like you are mindfully working your way into this spiritual practice.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-03-04 11:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] qos.livejournal.com
What I omitted from my description of my background, but didn't realize until later, is that the ritual of Communion was powerful for me. It was very simple, but beautiful. These days (years. . .) I seldom am in a place where it is celebrated, but most of the time it's a wonderful experience --- in part because of that sense of connection that you mention here.

I hadn't thought about the specific ritual elements being connections. I'll have to ponder that. . .

(no subject)

Date: 2006-03-05 04:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] revpanthera.livejournal.com
Oh yes! And in latin america, the priests prevent the common man from getting his hands on Latin-Spanish dictionaries! To which some of my interfaith friends are helping correct with several indigenous peoples in several areas down south.

The magic is in the latin and if they really understood what they were saying .. oh boy! At one meeting with some IP, they said they were close to being Wiccans because they had reconnected with the religion of their heritage.

Yay Interfaith efforts!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-03-05 06:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] iswari.livejournal.com
I'm too sleepy to properly comment, but wanted to let you know that I'm reading, with interest.

*hugs and love your way*
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