Ritual Semantics

Had a lovely time with LM last night: a simple dinner followed by conversation about ritual.

I was rehashing my resistance to formal ritual as opposed to prayer and meditation, when he suddenly suggested that I consider the difference between reading a script and mounting a full production of a play. Both will communicate the meaning and the emotion of the text, but one is a far more potent experience. I was impressed.

Talk about performance brought Scotty around -- which was nice, because I haven't seen him in quite some time. We discussed the semantic implications regarding approaching ritual as "exhibitionism" rather than "performance." To me, "performance" always carries an association of artificiality, while "exhibitionsim", although usually considered less dignified/worthy/acceptable, carries with it a sense of showing one's raw, authentic self. At least, those are my associations.

I think that right now I feel so lacking in skill in ritual that the idea of putting on an effective "performance" only adds to my stress and resistance. As my skills increase they will become more natural, more part of me, and that distinction between performance and exhibitionism will fade. To go back to the metaphor of the play, the effectiveness is certainly increased when the actors are skillful performers rather than just sincere amateurs.

Not sure how deep or important this will be in the long run, but it was an enjoyable conversation and gave me some insights into myself and some of my biases.

Knight of Swords

Afternoon break here at work. On an impulse, I did a one card tarot draw asking what I needed most for clarity right now.

I drew the Knight of Swords, who never comes up for me.

I see in him a call to reorient myself to a more energetic, outward-focused expression of my intellect, to be daring and sure of my truth.

KoS can be dangerous. He turns into a crusader if he loses his perspective and compassion. But part of the work I've started doing around personal power is embracing and expressing more yang energy as I engage with my Work and the world.

And on reflection, his darker, more dangerous aspects are no worse than the dark face of the Queen of Swords.

Longing

A couple of weeks ago, LJ spotlighted the community lightyourcourse, and I've been enjoying it very much.

One of today's entries hit me with particular force:

( Through the wardrobe and over the rainbow and home again. .  )

Living In The World

A couple of weeks ago, LJ spotlighted the community lightyourcourse, and I've been enjoying it very much.

One of today's entries hit me with particular force:




I've felt this way since childhood, even as I simultaneously maintained a staunchly rational belief (even in childhood) that there were no other worlds beyond this one. (None that could be reached without the use of warp-drive engines, anyway. . . )

Now that I've grown up, I believe in other worlds and the ability of human beings to move in them. But I've also learned even an even more challenging truth: that whatever our longings, we are meant to be present in this world and to live in it, live in it as fully and whole-heartedly as possible. All the magical techniques which enable shifting consciousness to perceive realities beyond this world are intended not to facilitate escape, but to enable us to live with more centeredness and peace and strength and joy in this one.

Believe me, I've spent just about every day of the past two and a half years wishing it were otherwise, wishing I could achieve a level of adeptness which would allow me to simply walk out of this world into the Otherworld, where my heart resides. Instead, I'm brought back again and again to the actual task: living whole-heartedly in this world.

I've always yearned to go over the rainbow, through the wardrobe, off on a space ship, through the looking glass, or under the hill. But those longings don't mean I was intended to live in those other places -- only that I have been given the opportunity to look through the cracks and understand that there is more, and reap the gifts of that broader perspective.


I think there are gifted individuals who do live in two (or more worlds), but I don't think that they are any less bound to the fundamental human task of making as much of this life as possible.