Light, Resilience, Standing Up

I chose Boromir for this post because I'm exhausted and in need of help -- but when I looked at his face, what I saw was not so much his exhaustion as his courage and "never surrender" determination.

I am tired down to my bones and woke with a headache again. Shortly after waking I went into a kind of spiritual mini-crisis that focused on words like "not fair" and "but why" and "I need". Fortunately after a little while I realized I was just making things worse and that realization snapped me out of the crisis. I was then able to receive some of the comfort that was being offered, as well as hear the voice in my head telling me that a warrior meets challenges on her feet, not lying in bed. It may be hard to stand up at first, but courage often follows positive action. And he was right.

It's 7am. The movers will be here in 1-2 hours. Fortunately, my mom will be here in about 45 minutes. I should have breakfast, take some Excedrin. Do my dishes. Start packing the last things: clothes into a suitcase; the special items on my bedstand and mantle into a special box; the miscellany in the bathroom; the stuff on my desk.

If you have energy to send, please do so. I really need it. I have a huge day ahead of me and my personal resources are just about tapped out.

Claiming My Power

I'm feeling much better.

It was brought to my attention that I was giving up all my power: to the movers, to my friends, to my allies, even to my beloved, looking to others for energy and courage and everything else I need today.

This is my move. The movers are working for me. I am in charge. I don't have to feel rushed or pressured.

There is no hard deadline of time. If I end up driving back and forth between the two places a couple of times today in order to get all the odds and ends taken care of, so be it.

I took Excedrin.
I got dressed, slowly, not letting myself be distracted by other tasks.
One step at a time.
I started washing dishes.
And with my hands deep in the warm, sudsy, dirty water, I rediscovered my power.

In the New Place

I am typing this on my gadget in my new living room as the three movers unload the truck.

I broke down and cried a couple of times toward the end of the packing, but once I was on the road, the moving van following me, I felt a tremendous sense of relief and joy.




I don't have internet service here yet, so my posts and comments will be brief for the time being.

Did I Mention I've *Moved*?!

It's going to take a while to get my head around this: I *don't* live in the basement anymore!

I have big windows! *Lots* of them!

And then there's the tub: deep, oval, with a curved edge, wide shelves. . .

And carpeting.

And a dishwasher.
A *dishwasher*!

*happy sigh