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Practicing
Mar. 2nd, 2006 05:58 am"Giving something up for Lent" has never been a practice of mine. When I was young, my non-denominational Protestant church observed Lent the way it did Advent: by recognizing the season in the content of our worship services, and by having an Ash Wednesday service, but not with any special practices. So the Lenten sacrifice was never something meaningful to me.
But I woke up this morning at a few minutes to four, and as I walked through the kitchen to get a drink, the thought hit me that what I needed to "give up for Lent" was the fifteen minutes of sleep I would lose if I set my alarm clock for 5:00am instead of 5:15am, and using that time to begin a morning meditation practice.
So that's what I did. I re-set my alarm, and this morning I got up at 5:00am, got out the book on Grail Mysteries that I've been reading for the third time in the past couple of years (and which is likely to be my resource for daily practice, but more on that later) and doing the First Exercise in meditation.
It was only five minutes, and I found myself resisting it -- not because it was too much, but because it seemed not long enough. But my teacher has been working with me on humility, and my willingness to submit to instructions for practices like these that I want to dismiss as boring, not intense enough, or otherwise frivolously disagreeable. So I sat down, shut up, and followed the instructions.
The first exercise is designed to help the student become aware of how hir mind works, and what distractions sie is prone to. Since this system strongly suggests sitting upright in a comfortable supportive chair, to minimize distractions of physical discomfort, I didn't have to worry about those. But my mind chatters (not an unusual challenge) and likes to reflect on what I'm doing instead of just doing it.
The instruction was to count breaths, starting again if one loses count. Despite my mind's attempts to distract me (it was so afraid of getting bored!), I was able to keep count the entire time, which I hope says something good about my ability to maintain some level of concentration even with background noise.
Everything I've read about meditation affirms that it requries diligent, consistent practice. I'm going to meditate every morning until Easter. I'm not going to get up at 5am on the weekend, but I will make meditation my first action of the day.
I also realized that my sacred space is behind the couch, next to my altar -- which is also where the little girls play, to keep their stuff out of the center of the living room. Time for new instructions to the girls: play happens between the couch and the television, even if it obscures the path through the living room to my desk. I need to start cultivating and reinforcing the sacred space.
But I woke up this morning at a few minutes to four, and as I walked through the kitchen to get a drink, the thought hit me that what I needed to "give up for Lent" was the fifteen minutes of sleep I would lose if I set my alarm clock for 5:00am instead of 5:15am, and using that time to begin a morning meditation practice.
So that's what I did. I re-set my alarm, and this morning I got up at 5:00am, got out the book on Grail Mysteries that I've been reading for the third time in the past couple of years (and which is likely to be my resource for daily practice, but more on that later) and doing the First Exercise in meditation.
It was only five minutes, and I found myself resisting it -- not because it was too much, but because it seemed not long enough. But my teacher has been working with me on humility, and my willingness to submit to instructions for practices like these that I want to dismiss as boring, not intense enough, or otherwise frivolously disagreeable. So I sat down, shut up, and followed the instructions.
The first exercise is designed to help the student become aware of how hir mind works, and what distractions sie is prone to. Since this system strongly suggests sitting upright in a comfortable supportive chair, to minimize distractions of physical discomfort, I didn't have to worry about those. But my mind chatters (not an unusual challenge) and likes to reflect on what I'm doing instead of just doing it.
The instruction was to count breaths, starting again if one loses count. Despite my mind's attempts to distract me (it was so afraid of getting bored!), I was able to keep count the entire time, which I hope says something good about my ability to maintain some level of concentration even with background noise.
Everything I've read about meditation affirms that it requries diligent, consistent practice. I'm going to meditate every morning until Easter. I'm not going to get up at 5am on the weekend, but I will make meditation my first action of the day.
I also realized that my sacred space is behind the couch, next to my altar -- which is also where the little girls play, to keep their stuff out of the center of the living room. Time for new instructions to the girls: play happens between the couch and the television, even if it obscures the path through the living room to my desk. I need to start cultivating and reinforcing the sacred space.
