A Glimpse of my Movie Collection

Swiped from vicarchori

This nifty bit of code will grab and display the cover art for your favorite DVD's and VHS's (or at least those currently in an active catalog somewhere).

This is a small sample of my collection.

( Image Intensive -- But Very Very Pretty! )

Abraham and Isaac -- and Me

One of my friends recently posted an excerpt from Anne Lamott, in which Lamott tells the story of being powerfully touched and transformed by the story of Abraham and Isaac. In that story of Abraham's blind faith in and obediance to God, his willingness to kill his only son if that's what God wanted, and God's proving himself trustworthy by providing a lamb at the last minute, she experienced grace, and a conviction that God was real and could be trusted.

In composing my response to that post, I found myself writing with unexpected conviction and intensity, and wanted to share it here:

I have heard and read this story all my life, and my own spiritual director has a powerful connection to it, not quite the same as Lamott, but one which inspires and gives him hope.

When I was little, I accepted it the way I accepted all Bible stories: that it was about a good and loving God who sometimes had mysterious purposes. I no longer buy that. I don't like stories of a God who "tests faith" in this way. Abraham had already done so much to demonstrate his faith. Why could this possibly have been necessary?

If 'God' spoke to me one day and said that he wanted me to kill my daughter, I would stake my soul and my eternal future on my NO.

I contrast this story with my own experience of hearing the voice of God in an orphanage in Tijuana, where I had found myself in unlikely service, after accepting and following a compulsion I did not understand. The Voice told me that I was there because God had seen the need of these children for love, and brought me there to meet that need, and then given me the physical resources to go far beyond what I thought myself capable. In the years after my existential crisis, it was the memory of that Voice, and that attention to and care for "the least of these" that convinced me there was a God and that God was worthy of worship.

Please understand that I in no way criticize anyone who finds grace in this difficult story of Abraham. God speaks to all of us in different ways.

But for me, this story now speaks of how far I have come from my childhood faith, both in my understanding of God, and in my growth as a Mother, a role I struggled against for a very long time.

Standing Up Quietly

On Thursday I went to a goodbye luncheon for S*, a young manager in my department who I like very much. He's one of those people I think of as "labrador retriever types": always cheerful, hard-working, eager, and helpful. In addition to his list of sterling workplace virtues, he shares my passion for the Lord of the Rings movies, which has become a real bond between us. He works in a different building, so we don't see each other often, but we always have a great talk when we're together.

He is also far more conservative than I am, both in his religious faith and his politics. This is something we usually stay away from in our conversations, so it's easy to forget in light of the other things we have in common and our mutual pleasure in our encounters.

At the luncheon on Thursday, which took place in a conference room reserved for the occasion, I was sitting next to him, with most of his team (eight or nine other people) crowding the table. The topic of movies came up, and suddenly S* started expressing surprise and dismay that one of his team had gone to see Brokeback Mountain earlier that week.

I can't remember the specific comments which followed, but the clear and overwhelming message that came across from him was that he found homosexuality disgusting, and he could not imagine how any of his fine, upstanding team members could possibly want to see a movie about two men "doing that."

To say I was shocked and dismayed was an understatement. When I thought about it for a moment I realized that his opinion was in line with his other religious and political beliefs, but I was appalled that he would express his opinion in this way, in this venue.

So I turned to him and said (sincerely), "I've been wanting to see Brokeback Mountain."

He turned to me in surprise. "Why? Because you think you should because everyone says it's good?" He sounded more puzzled than accusing, and he had no idea he was adding insult to injury by implying I made my choices because of what "everyone" thought.

"No," I replied. "I want to see it in part because I've heard that it's an excellent movie - and because I'm interested in seeing Hollywood treat a homosexual relationship with dignity and compassion."

I'm pretty sure I startled him. The conversation shifted after that, to express shock and dismay over "Hostel" (which I haven't seen, and have no desire to, given what I've heard about it).

When I got back to my own desk, I found an email with the subject line "THANK YOU". It was from a woman in S's team who wanted me to know she appreciated the way I responded to him. His homophobic comments have made her uncomfortable for more than a year now, but she hasn't felt like she could confront him about it.

What I was pleased to realize, after the fact, was that it felt so natural to stand up to S's comments. I wasn't interested in picking a fight, or calling names -- that too would have been inappropriate in that venue -- but I was not going to let his comments go unchallenged. And it didn't worry me at all to do so.

Next week he and his team will be sitting with mine, in our building. I'm going to find some time and ask to speak with him privately and address this subject with him a bit more pointedly. I'm not going to attack his personal beliefs, but I am going to tell him that I found his behavior inappropriate, especially in a manager, and suggest that whatever his personal feelings, he needs to be more sensitive to the people around him. I can't betray the confidence of his team member, but I am going to tell him that I am aware of at least two gay or lesbian individuals in his orbit, and he might want to consider how his words come across.