Bleah

I've been just-enough-to-feel-cruddy sick all week. I feel mostly ok in the morning, but my stomach ends up feeling less and less good throughout the day, and even though I've been going to bed at 9:30pm and sleeping through the night, I never feel energized enough to really work.

Blech.

Energetic Massage

Yesterday at work we had a Safety and Health Fair -- which included a fair number of alternative providers. One of them offered a 15 minute energetic massage given by three women working together.

I signed up, anticipating an experience that would leave me "energized." I expected tingles, a feeling of energy moving in my body, a feeling of being cleansed and grounded. That's not what happened.

One woman began giving me a foot massage that I'm sure included very specific stimulation of reflexology or energy points. That felt very good.

But the sensations were very different elsewhere in my body. A very short time into the massage I began to feel pressure and constriction around my heart and chest. I tried to relax and breathe deeply, but what I felt was a desire to resist and defend.

I told the practitioner what I was feeling. She said, "I know. Just keep breathing."

It never got all that much better.

When it was over, and I sat up slowly, I asked the woman who had been working over my chest what *that* had been about. She basically turned the question back on myself, suggesting that I consider my relationships -- or what it is within myself that keeps me from having them. She suggested that I look at issues of guilt and forgiveness.

Hmmmm. . .

The woman who was working over my head said, "You are very sensitive to energy" -- which made me smile because for so long I felt like I had no ability in this area.

I felt out-of-sorts for a couple of hours afterward, with some lingering soreness around my chest, and a feeling of vague being on edge. Finally I thought to do some deliberate grounding, which helped.

A most unusual experience.