Lots of Theological Conversations

As my entry “Contrasts” indicated, I’ve spent considerable time and energy recently struggling with Swedenborg’s doctrine of the redemption – and more than that, with the implications it has for my vocation if what I consider to be a central doctrine is something I might not able to accept.

( For those interested in theological details, click here – otherwise, just read on )

I had a good talk with my dad (a former minister and double Ph.D.) on Saturday night, and he agreed with me that having trouble with a central doctrine like this one is a major problem. We discussed the various implications and choices I had before me. (Then we went in to see “The Last Samurai,” which I enjoyed very much.)

Then, on Sunday, I chatted with Doug, a visiting Swedenborgian seminarian, and with my pastor. Both of them were surprised that this doctrine was causing problems for me, and – to my great surprise – neither of them thought this was a particularly central belief. Certainly it wasn’t something worth getting worked up about.

Okay. . . .

Last night, I spoke for an hour with Jim, the dean of the Swedenborgian House of Studies. He was very helpful, giving me some additional perspectives on the doctrine that I hadn’t thought about (there is so darn much of Swedenborg to absorb), and he also affirmed the denomination’s respect for free thought and pluralism.

The sense I’m left with now is that I am within a community of kindred spirits. And the issues I have with some of the theology is not going to be a deal breaker where my vocation is concerned. At least, not from the official perspective. I still need to wrestle with this for a while, but I no longer feel the sense of fear and urgency I did last week, when I was afraid that my vocation was in jeopardy.

Memo To Me

Resuming an exercise program is Good.

Working out with a Firm video and using the 14" tall step is Good.

Going up and down the steps to the 8th floor 5 times on the day after resuming exercise with aforementioned step is Not Good, and will be deeply and sincerely regeretted on subsequent days.

Rant

First, the disclaimer: My ex-husband is, in many respects, a lovely person: generous, kind, intelligent, and Just a Nice Guy. We share a duplex so we can truly have shared custody of Our Child, and most of the time we live in benign friendliness and co-operation, each in our own living space. We share occasional dinners, or get together for a family movie night (with my DVD collection or at a theater) with the Child, and treat each other with pleasant civility.

Now, the Rant: for some reason -- probably relating to his own disinclination to keep himself to anything like a schedule -- he seems to have a next-to-impossible time getting Our Child out of bed in the morning and to school on time. She is frequently 15 minutes to three hours late for school. His only explanation is "We both slept in."

Excuse me? He's a grown-up with a clock radio. It's his responsiblity to get The Child to school on time. If he can't wake up in time to get her to school, he needs to get to bed earlier so he can wake up in time. (He works out of a home office, and does not need to keep regular hours.)

Because I'm the primary parent on the school record forms, the secretaries call me when her "absent" card gets sent down. Most of those times, she's not really absent, she just got to school after attendance and neither she nor her teacher think to notify the office that she really is there.

I've had numerous conversations with the Ex about this, and he always sincerely promises to do better, but it just doesn't change. (This was one of the reasons I decided I did not want to be married to him any more: his frequent expressions of desire to change, followed by zero change.) (Not that I didn't contribute to the failure as well -- but that's a topic for confession, not a rant.)

This morning, per an agreement he and I made last week, I called him at 8:00am to make sure he was awake and moving. He was. Ten minutes ago, I got a call from the school: "I'm calling about L-'s absence."

Arrrggghhhh!!

I called the Ex, who assured me that she was indeed at school -- but apparently she was late enough to miss roll call again.

She is in second grade. All through kindergarten and first grade I got her to school on time, every day, unless she was sick. Millions of children get to school on time. But somehow my Ex isn't willing to set his clock back fifteen minutes, get up like a responsible adult, and make sure his child gets to school on time.

Arrrggghhh!!!

End rant.