Accupuncture!
Dec. 8th, 2003 06:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
qosI had my first accupuncture treatment this afternoon. For the past three years or so, I've experienced "twinges" of varying intensity in my left elbow, seemingly unrelated to activity. My conventional doc put me on ibuprofin for two weeks, but that didn't help. A trip to the naturopathic clinic for peat packs and deep tissue massage didn't help. So I thought I'd try accupuncture.
It was not a pleasant experience, but the needles weren't the issue. It was the practitioner. The needles gave almost no sensation during insertion. The biggest reaction was when one went into my right wrist and the left wrist twinged hard. And now I'm sore at several insertion points.
The issue was the energy of the practioner. She was so eager to be helpful, but so fragmentary in her communication, I felt jarred just by the conversation. She was intense, and trying to affirm things, but she was speaking a language that was partly unfamiliar to me (meridians, energy flow, and etc.), and didn't seem willing or able to slow down and make sure I was comfortable and understood what she was talking about. It wasn't bad enough for me to decide I was too uncomfortable to do the treatment, and she seemed to have some good insights, so I continued the process.
The insertion of the needles was fine, and she checked to make sure I was comfortable, and put the blanket over my feet - but then she abruptly left the room. I knew it was in response to someone just outside the door, so I didn't mind. But then she didn't come back for a very long time.
I found myself lying on this table, fully dressed but with bare feet (which were cold, despite the light blanket over them), with needles sticking out of my body in several places. I kept feeling stress because all my instincts were telling me that this *should* hurt; it was a real fight-or-flight impulse that I could deal with only by relaxing. Eventually I did start to relax, but after a while (no clock visible to track time) I began to feel very vulnerable. I was alone, in a dimly-lit room, with stickies in my body. When I moved my fingers, the needles twinged -- which resulted in a flood of energy -- which was a good thing -- but it left me very aware that I did not want to just stand up, because I didn't know what would happen. I wanted to ask questions, to just have some company, but I was alone.
The feeling of unease grew into an intense sense of vulnerability and entrapment. I felt like I might as well be strapped to the table. Eventually I called out for her, but there was no response. When I heard footsteps outside the door, I called out again, and she came in, all earnest, jagged energy.
I was upset and angry, and I told her so -- as courteously as possible, since I was sure she hadn't meant to induce this kind of feeling of mental discomfort. She didn't want to acknowledge it at first, putting the focus back on me, and encouraging me to "go into those feelings." There's a time and place for that. This wasn't it.
She ended up not charging me for the session, telling me it was her way of supporting what I was doing with my seminary training (she goes to my church). And she may have done that anyway, but I suspect that she felt guilty about my experience.
The positive side of my dissatisfaction with her entire manner was that it made me think of the times when I have probably allowed my own intensity and my desire to help someone overwhelm the person I'm dealing with. When I'm in certain situations, I need to rein in, to let the other person set the speed and intensity level, and make sure they are comfortable. It was strange how clearly I could see one of my own weaknesses in her.
It will take a while before I can tell if the accupuncture actually helps my elbow problem. It will be interesting to track the sensations.
It was not a pleasant experience, but the needles weren't the issue. It was the practitioner. The needles gave almost no sensation during insertion. The biggest reaction was when one went into my right wrist and the left wrist twinged hard. And now I'm sore at several insertion points.
The issue was the energy of the practioner. She was so eager to be helpful, but so fragmentary in her communication, I felt jarred just by the conversation. She was intense, and trying to affirm things, but she was speaking a language that was partly unfamiliar to me (meridians, energy flow, and etc.), and didn't seem willing or able to slow down and make sure I was comfortable and understood what she was talking about. It wasn't bad enough for me to decide I was too uncomfortable to do the treatment, and she seemed to have some good insights, so I continued the process.
The insertion of the needles was fine, and she checked to make sure I was comfortable, and put the blanket over my feet - but then she abruptly left the room. I knew it was in response to someone just outside the door, so I didn't mind. But then she didn't come back for a very long time.
I found myself lying on this table, fully dressed but with bare feet (which were cold, despite the light blanket over them), with needles sticking out of my body in several places. I kept feeling stress because all my instincts were telling me that this *should* hurt; it was a real fight-or-flight impulse that I could deal with only by relaxing. Eventually I did start to relax, but after a while (no clock visible to track time) I began to feel very vulnerable. I was alone, in a dimly-lit room, with stickies in my body. When I moved my fingers, the needles twinged -- which resulted in a flood of energy -- which was a good thing -- but it left me very aware that I did not want to just stand up, because I didn't know what would happen. I wanted to ask questions, to just have some company, but I was alone.
The feeling of unease grew into an intense sense of vulnerability and entrapment. I felt like I might as well be strapped to the table. Eventually I called out for her, but there was no response. When I heard footsteps outside the door, I called out again, and she came in, all earnest, jagged energy.
I was upset and angry, and I told her so -- as courteously as possible, since I was sure she hadn't meant to induce this kind of feeling of mental discomfort. She didn't want to acknowledge it at first, putting the focus back on me, and encouraging me to "go into those feelings." There's a time and place for that. This wasn't it.
She ended up not charging me for the session, telling me it was her way of supporting what I was doing with my seminary training (she goes to my church). And she may have done that anyway, but I suspect that she felt guilty about my experience.
The positive side of my dissatisfaction with her entire manner was that it made me think of the times when I have probably allowed my own intensity and my desire to help someone overwhelm the person I'm dealing with. When I'm in certain situations, I need to rein in, to let the other person set the speed and intensity level, and make sure they are comfortable. It was strange how clearly I could see one of my own weaknesses in her.
It will take a while before I can tell if the accupuncture actually helps my elbow problem. It will be interesting to track the sensations.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2003-12-08 08:20 pm (UTC)And hey good effort there in finding the positive in it! :,)
(no subject)
Date: 2003-12-09 08:16 am (UTC)