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qosJust back from KinkFest (my first time there), which was an incredible, sacred time -- and so much easier than Pantheacon!
I attended with the new man in my life, to whom I am both lover and priestess -- a delicate situation in many ways, but I don't know of any other way (at this time) to do the work I was called to with him. And he is giving me so much in return: enabling me to experience love and passion and touch again after my many years of grief and isolation. LM is still my husband, but X is indeed my lover and my friend. He's doing a lot of hard work -- "Grasping the nettle" as my own teacher would say -- and it's inspiring to watch his courage and commitment. And he's fun to be with too.
Last night and this morning I was given a special blessing by him. Without going into too many TMI details, he taught me a way to experience pleasure that is entirely new to me. Even my beloved LM and Michael, as skilled as they were, did not do this kind of subtle, focused, amazing kind of stimulation while telling me to "relax" and "float" and "just ride it."
This Queen of Swords, despite being very passionate and a sexual submissive, has not been very good at letting go sexually, much to my own frustration and often that of my partners. X has opened up a whole new way for me to experience and process pleasure that makes "letting go" far less of an issue.
It was amazing.
Or did I mention that?
Anyway. . . in the midst of this exquisite pleasure this morning I started laughing -- which threw X off at first, but I assured him all was well. I kept laughing on and off until we were done, and then I explained to X what was so damn funny. . . .
My primary elements are Air and Fire. I don't have a lot of Earth and -- as many of you know -- I can be downright hostile with Water. (And it's been mutual at times, as the multiple floodings of my old basement home can attest.)
A year or so ago I was having a phone conversation with my teacher and Scotty, one of her inner world contacts. I forget the topic of conversation that led up to it, but Scotty told me, through my teacher, that it was probably time I started coming to terms with Water. My response was "Oh no!" and a surge of fight-or-flight adrenaline.
Well, it turns out that X has a lot of Water in him, and the experiences he gave me during the past 24 hours were very much Water-aligned. And it was so very wonderful. And as I was lying there in bliss I remembered that conversatio with Scotty and had to laugh at how sneaky -- and generous -- the gods can be about Their lessons.
I attended with the new man in my life, to whom I am both lover and priestess -- a delicate situation in many ways, but I don't know of any other way (at this time) to do the work I was called to with him. And he is giving me so much in return: enabling me to experience love and passion and touch again after my many years of grief and isolation. LM is still my husband, but X is indeed my lover and my friend. He's doing a lot of hard work -- "Grasping the nettle" as my own teacher would say -- and it's inspiring to watch his courage and commitment. And he's fun to be with too.
Last night and this morning I was given a special blessing by him. Without going into too many TMI details, he taught me a way to experience pleasure that is entirely new to me. Even my beloved LM and Michael, as skilled as they were, did not do this kind of subtle, focused, amazing kind of stimulation while telling me to "relax" and "float" and "just ride it."
This Queen of Swords, despite being very passionate and a sexual submissive, has not been very good at letting go sexually, much to my own frustration and often that of my partners. X has opened up a whole new way for me to experience and process pleasure that makes "letting go" far less of an issue.
It was amazing.
Or did I mention that?
Anyway. . . in the midst of this exquisite pleasure this morning I started laughing -- which threw X off at first, but I assured him all was well. I kept laughing on and off until we were done, and then I explained to X what was so damn funny. . . .
My primary elements are Air and Fire. I don't have a lot of Earth and -- as many of you know -- I can be downright hostile with Water. (And it's been mutual at times, as the multiple floodings of my old basement home can attest.)
A year or so ago I was having a phone conversation with my teacher and Scotty, one of her inner world contacts. I forget the topic of conversation that led up to it, but Scotty told me, through my teacher, that it was probably time I started coming to terms with Water. My response was "Oh no!" and a surge of fight-or-flight adrenaline.
Well, it turns out that X has a lot of Water in him, and the experiences he gave me during the past 24 hours were very much Water-aligned. And it was so very wonderful. And as I was lying there in bliss I remembered that conversatio with Scotty and had to laugh at how sneaky -- and generous -- the gods can be about Their lessons.
