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qosEarlier this evening I started thinking about doing a written journey to a temple of Inanna, as part of getting back into a closer relationship with her.
As I started pondering the possibilities, I did get an image of a temple -- and immediately after that came images of a story I played with last year: of a widow who had once been a hierodule returning to the temple after her grieving was over, thinking of returning to her old role. The story never actually worked, but the images remained with me, a direct expression of my own conflicting emotions. As I merged with my character, feeling the tensions of longing and alienation, it occurred to me that "returning to the temple" would necessarily mean embarking on sexual intimacy -- a prospect which made me wince.
Immediately my perceptions were corrected. "Darling, you're missing the point," Inanna told me, exasperated and amused. "You only have sex if you really want to. It's not like I'm a goddess of marriage!" She smiled wickedly at me, and I had the sense that she was deliberately tweaking any number of beings who were listening in on the exchange, including LM.
And that, of course, is part of the essence of Inanna: she does as she damn well pleases because it pleases her, not because she's supposed to. And she offers that liberty to her followers -- although we must remain cognizant of the consequences of giving in to unbridled desire. Inanna herself ended up as rotting meat on a peg in the underworld when her desire outstripped her wisdom.
The important thing for me this evening is coming to a new understanding: that Inanna is less about Teh Sex than she is about desire and raw passion. If physical sexuality is not fueled by raw desire, she doesn't have any use for it. I don't need to force myself with 'should' as part of my work with her; quite the opposite.
As I started pondering the possibilities, I did get an image of a temple -- and immediately after that came images of a story I played with last year: of a widow who had once been a hierodule returning to the temple after her grieving was over, thinking of returning to her old role. The story never actually worked, but the images remained with me, a direct expression of my own conflicting emotions. As I merged with my character, feeling the tensions of longing and alienation, it occurred to me that "returning to the temple" would necessarily mean embarking on sexual intimacy -- a prospect which made me wince.
Immediately my perceptions were corrected. "Darling, you're missing the point," Inanna told me, exasperated and amused. "You only have sex if you really want to. It's not like I'm a goddess of marriage!" She smiled wickedly at me, and I had the sense that she was deliberately tweaking any number of beings who were listening in on the exchange, including LM.
And that, of course, is part of the essence of Inanna: she does as she damn well pleases because it pleases her, not because she's supposed to. And she offers that liberty to her followers -- although we must remain cognizant of the consequences of giving in to unbridled desire. Inanna herself ended up as rotting meat on a peg in the underworld when her desire outstripped her wisdom.
The important thing for me this evening is coming to a new understanding: that Inanna is less about Teh Sex than she is about desire and raw passion. If physical sexuality is not fueled by raw desire, she doesn't have any use for it. I don't need to force myself with 'should' as part of my work with her; quite the opposite.
