Moving Forward

[qos]

This afternoon I sent this email to my spiritual director:

Hello, T___ --

The last few days at work I've been feeling more and frustrated, more and more
aware that I want to start putting more time and energy into developing my own practice/ministry as a spiritual director and less time tending the administrative needs of [my company]'s employees.

You and I have talked about and around this several times over the past year or
so, but I've never taken you up on your offer to have a focused conversation
about how I make the leap and start seeing directees of my own.

I have accepted the fact that I will probably never feel "ready".
I have moved from thinking that I need to have "more confidence" or "more
courage" to a place of realizing that I need to have *faith* -- it's not
about me being "good enough," it's about me hearing the call, responding,
and trusting that God will partner with me and support me in my vocation.

I want to move forward, and I would very much like your counsel and input about
the practical/pragmatic aspects as well as the spiritual. Is this something we can
schedule a separate meeting to talk about -- or correspond via email about?

With gratitude,

QoS


I also responded to an email from my former shamanic teacher, who is offering marketing and networking assistance to holistic practitioners. We're looking at September 1st as a date to get together.

And finally, this comment from oakmouse was a comfort: One of the issues about receiving initiation is that if it's effective, then the things in your life that already weren't working proceed to fall apart completely.

So this is a good thing, right?




(Yes, I know it's a good thing. I've been waffling about this step for more than a year now, as you are all more than aware.)