qos | Unsettling Dream: Past My Boundaries (Reply)

Only a few clear memories remain. The first is of herding three cats and a couple of dogs out of a room in my house. I would get a couple out the door and one or two others would slip back in around the doorjamb. One cat seemed to keep extending his leg unnaturally to get back across the threshold. I finally got them out, but then my Ex's sister and brother-in-law were there.

I was trying to get the Daughter out of bed so I could get her out of the house. It was the middle of the night. I was anxious about the smell of gas in the house. Then the Ex's sister and brother-in-law were outside, upset, because they too were concerned about the gas smell.

The Ex was in my bedroom, writing checks. I was talking with him about the situation. . . . and it was as if a wind, or a magnetic storm suddenly started up in the kitchen. The microwave was blown of the counter and was bouncing around - not on its own power, but under the force of the disturbance. I tried to go toward the kitchen, but a powerful force blew at me, pushing me back. I tried to call out to the Ex, but could not make my voice loud enough for him to register.

The force woke me, and my muscles were tight from my effort to fight, and I had a tension headache. The feeling of pressure did not entirely go away once I was awake. Usually when I wake from a boundary-testing dream, I feel a sense of release and relief: the test is over, the opponent is gone. Not this time. There wasn't a sense of evil presence -- or fear of one -- as I have had after particularly bad nightmares, just a sense that whatever had been pushing in my dream was still pushing once I was awake.

I lay still, trying to figure out what was going on. In my mind I saw a semi truck drive past me. Its sides had an advertising picture on it, a large drawing of a man's head. As the truck went past, the man said, "There's still someone here." (Or words to that effect.) He wasn't talking about himself -- or maybe he was. It wasn't a reassurance, but it wasn't exactly a warning or threat either, just information.

The pressure around me was not physical, but it was as if there was a heavy lead blanket draped over me on the spiritual/energetic level. Pushing back against it did nothing. Reinforcing my shields helped a bit, but it was more in the way of bracing against a weight that was already there, not actually moving it back.

And all the time I was wondering who or what was causing this. There was a name in the back of my mind, the name of an adversary of my friends, but I wouldn't let myself credit it.

It never occurred to me to try to "snap out of it." I didn't seem to be getting anywhere on my own power, so I asked my own allies for help -- Bear and Dragon -- and then called in my daughter's protectors for good measure. The Dragon didn't show up, but Bear did, and when I asked him for help, he snarled and showed his teeth and attacked whatever-it-was in a way I've never seen before. The Wolves were fierce as well: snarling and tearing at something(s) I couldn't see. Did another wolf join a little later, perhaps from a friend? I wasn't sure, but one did seem to show up a little after the others. It's only now, as I type this, that I realize it's one of the few times I've called an ally for help and not received a gentle lecture or guidance about how I could help myself. Once I pointed out the problem and asked for assistance, they attacked.

Eventually the feeling of pressure faded away and I got up.

Despite the ferocity of my allies, I never felt in danger or directly menaced.

It's also only now that I think about it that I realize what differentiates this boundary-testing dream from the others is that the major threat was already in my house. It didn't have a form that I could fight or defend against. The cats and dogs were already in the house too, but I got them out of my space. The wind/force/pressure was already here and I couldn't do anything against it.

That's unsettling. I'm not letting it scare me, but it's an unsettling variation from previous dreams. Always before the opponent(s) have been outside and I've kept them out. I've fought and won. This time there was no contest. I was utterly outmatched.

What's ironic is that this dream is happening at a time when I am moving so many things in my life, including my situation vis a vis this house.