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Ethical Education
May. 16th, 2009 02:40 pmOne of the challenges of not belonging to an institutionalized spiritual tradition is that it has left me, as a parent, without a set of texts about ethics and morals which I can share with my daughter. I am quite aware that the examples of the adults around her have a powerful impact, but there's a lot to be said for having something explicit that can be used as a reference and a point of discussion. I haven't had that, and the older Wolfing gets, the more uncomfortable I've been about it. She's smart, she's tender-hearted, and she seems to have a good sense of justice, but I've been wanting to have some specific conversations with her about ethics, rather than leaving things generalized and intuitive.
What I have really wanted is to be able to teach her what my ethics are, but I kept running up against the frustration of not having a systematic statement.
( My Background and Ethical Liferaft, for those who don't already know the story )
It was two or three days ago that I realized that I do have a statement of ethics: my life raft is still valid. It's still my point of reference, my conclusions about the qualities -- Wisdom, Integrity, Courage, Tenderness, Humor -- which I believe are essential to being "good."
On Friday I drove Wolfling to her dad's house for the weekend, and I told her that this had been on my mind, and we were going to start talking it about when she comes home. I told her that we'd talk about my ethics and what they are -- and that she was welcome to debate and challenge them, if she wanted. I also encouraged her to spend some time thinking about what she would consider her own ethical framework. "If you were given a little kid and told to teach it right and wrong, what would you tell them?" I told her she didn't have to do this, but that it might make the conversation more interesting for her if she did some reflection first.
We'll see how it goes. . .
I'm realizing as I write this that there is definitely development that can be done. There's no reference to stewardship, for example. Concepts like Service and Justice can be extrapolated from Compassion, Integrity, and Courage -- but there may be something to be said for making them explicit.
It could be fun to engage Wolfling in the process, and see where we end up together.
What I have really wanted is to be able to teach her what my ethics are, but I kept running up against the frustration of not having a systematic statement.
( My Background and Ethical Liferaft, for those who don't already know the story )
It was two or three days ago that I realized that I do have a statement of ethics: my life raft is still valid. It's still my point of reference, my conclusions about the qualities -- Wisdom, Integrity, Courage, Tenderness, Humor -- which I believe are essential to being "good."
On Friday I drove Wolfling to her dad's house for the weekend, and I told her that this had been on my mind, and we were going to start talking it about when she comes home. I told her that we'd talk about my ethics and what they are -- and that she was welcome to debate and challenge them, if she wanted. I also encouraged her to spend some time thinking about what she would consider her own ethical framework. "If you were given a little kid and told to teach it right and wrong, what would you tell them?" I told her she didn't have to do this, but that it might make the conversation more interesting for her if she did some reflection first.
We'll see how it goes. . .
I'm realizing as I write this that there is definitely development that can be done. There's no reference to stewardship, for example. Concepts like Service and Justice can be extrapolated from Compassion, Integrity, and Courage -- but there may be something to be said for making them explicit.
It could be fun to engage Wolfling in the process, and see where we end up together.
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