Head Stuff

Over the past year or so I've frequently found that when I attempt a new magical technique, or have certain kinds of otherworldy encounters with energy, I have distinct sensations in different parts of my head. Sometimes there's a sense of swelling/pressure, as if my 'mind' is literally expanding. Sometimes it's a pain, as if something is trying to open.

I've felt wedges of energy pushing into the top of my head, bands circling my head in various places, holes being bored from the inside out or outside in, as if to allow pressure to escape. Last night, there was a line of pressure/light pain horizontally across the full width of my forehead, as if the top of my head should be able to open like a lid.

These sensations usually are not accompanied by any kind of straining on my part. Usually I've been in a relaxed meditative state. There have never been any lingering after-effects, and they usually do not repeat the next time I encounter that same energy.

It's as if some part of me has to be opened or stretched when encountering new forms of energy -- or new ways of working with familiar energy -- but once that has happened future exposures occur without any sensation.

I'd be interested in hearing if others have similiar experiences.

Reading "Pride and Prejudice"

I'm risking losing perhaps one-third of my friends list with this post. . .

Motivated entirely by the warm comments made by friends here over the past several years, I finally obtained a copy of Pride and Prejudice on Friday and started to read it. I've just finished reading Darcy's letter to Elizabeth and her reactions, so I'm about halfway through.

I've been reading attentively, open to the virtues expounded upon by so many people whose opinions I respect, wanting to like the story, to like Elizabeth, to like the writing style -- but I simply can not understand the passionate love and loyalty this book and its characters inspire. If it were any other book, I would not have kept reading beyond the first chapter.

If I read one more time about how a person's "amiable conversation" and fine manners obviously mean that he or she is person of good character, I shall choke. And maybe that's part of the point of the book, that Elizabeth and others learn that being a model member of society has little to do with a person's actual worth or quality, but it's not a storytelling journey I feel any need to take. Likewise, the sheer monotony of the characters' lives makes me skim over paragraphs at a time and send up countless prayers of thanksgiving that I do not live in a world where my primary entertainments are visiting and going to balls. What do these women have to talk about besides men, clothing, and marriage prospects?

It feels churlish to write such things about a book and characters that are so deeply beloved by others. . . and I feel like there must be some part of myself that is lacking in discernment since I can't even be engaged by the plot.

What am I missing? Do I need to read through to the end to appreciate the rest of the book? Or should I just give up now and admit myself a hopeless savage, incapable of appreciating the divine Austen?

Now Reading: "In This House of Brede"

This selection was also based on comments made by members of my friends list.

It's another story about a restricted society of women in another time and place, but at 41 pages into it, I'm finding it far more interesting and engrossing than P&P.



ETA: In This House of Brede, published in 1969, is the story of a widowed professional woman who enters a convent of Benedictine nuns.

LBRP - Next Level

Tonight was the first time I used all four elemental banishing pentagrams in my LBRP instead of just the banishing pentagram of Earth -- and it definitely upped the potency of the ritual. I also did the Middle Pillar for the second time, and found it almost as intense as the first.

I'm learning to be more deliberate and conscious in tapping into Divine energy, and realizing that it can be more complicated than I had allowed in the past. I don't want to needlessly overcomplicate things, but I have an image in my mind of a circuit board, corresponding to my energy centers and channels. I could simply tap into the energy and let it fill me like a cup -- but if I run it through certain circuits and paths I could use it more effectively.

At the moment I'm not sure what exactly to use it for, but I'm sure that will come in time.


Wax on. . . Wax off. . .