Partnership

One of the reasons I wasn't in any hurry to get involved in romance during the six years between my divorce and getting involved with my present lovers was the fear that I wouldn't have enough time for a romance and for everything else in my life. In the past, my romantic relationships competed with everything else I needed to do: school or work, household, family time, creative/personal/alone time. . .

One of the most important things that distinguishes my current relationships from all the others is that LM and LB are truly my partners. They don't draw me away from the rest of my life or compete with it, they are part of my everyday life. Not only are they lovers and sharers of fun, they also share the cooking, the dishes, family time, and work-out time. They support me when I want to spend time alone, too, instead of pouting (as some have in the past).

Thursday night I had a snack around 6:00, let it settle, then got on the treadmill. uncrowned_king came over, started making a more substantial meal (including making a quick grocery store run), ate his share, and put the rest in storage for me for leftovers. He then worked out in the same room with me while I continued to walk. After the walk we stretched and did energy exercises together, then did the dishes together, took a shower together, went to bed together. (The daughter was with my parents, but if she had been home, she and U_K would have cuddled up on either side of me for bedtime reading, which is one of the most important rituals for her.)

And because I have their support in my daily-mundane life, that life is easier, more fun, and of greater quality than before.

It goes the other way as well. Because I have a child, most of the domestic blending happens in my home, but I also cook for them, bring them tea or hot chocolate when they need to concentrate on homework or projects, and try to give them the same kind of support they give me.

I've had passion before. I've had fun companions before. I've had men who adored me before.
Never before have I had true partners.

Pentacle Saturday

It always feels so good to sleep in on Saturday.

The 3-Day has a variety of training walks around the area on Saturday morning, but they all start at 8:00 or 8:30am at least 20 miles from my home. I just don't want to get up that early.

So this morning uncrowned_king and I slept in, he made me breakfast, we hung out with my daughter for a while, then he and I went to Greenlake for my daily mileage. The official training schedule called for 5 miles today. We did two circuits around the lake, which was 5.6 miles.

It's a lot nicer to walk outside with him (or my 3-Day partner a_belletrist) than inside on my treadmill. We kept up a good pace, stopped every so often to stretch again or rest for a few minutes, and I felt really, really good at the end -- but more than a little tired.

After returning to my place, we got cleaned up, and he's been watching "Mythbusters" with the daughter while I've been sorting old papers and magazines that have been building up in a big plastic bin. Most of it ended up in recycling bags. The things I'm keeping are going to be transferred to files within the next 24 hours.

In a little while, all three of us will be heading out to a roller derby bout. I'm not sure where the daughter first heard about roller derby but she mentioned wanting to see it a few months ago. A short time later I found out that one of the women I work with is part of a local team, and she was happy to talk to me about it and help me get tickets. It turns out that a half dozen or so of my favorite people from work are also going to be there tonight, so I'll get to show off uncrowned_king and my daughter to my work colleagues.

This morning as I lay in bed and contemplated my day, I realized that walking twice around the lake, sorting papers, and going to roller derby were not things I would usually consider "highlights" for a Saturday. There are other things that I would probably enjoy more, or think of as "better" ways to spend a weekend. But due to my work with Pentacles over the past year, I felt a sense of peace and an awareness that they are all worthy, worthwhile activities. The walking and sorting was going to result in me feeling better and more in control in my life, and going to the roller derby will make my daughter feel excited and loved, and we'll have a great time together.

So it's all good.

I'm very, very grateful that I've grown enough over the past year or so to be able to make these choices and appreciate them.