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Dec. 15th, 2005
The Time is Now
Dec. 15th, 2005 08:32 pmYesterday, as you all know, I turned 41.
Today, by 'coincidence' (meaning I didn't plan it that way, but that doesn't mean it wasn't Planned), I had lunch with the pastor of my church and later in the afternoon went to my monthly spiritual direction appointment.
They both said the same thing to me, each in his own words: "You clearly have not only the ability to be spiritual director, but the gift. (The charism, in traditional terms.) Stop worrying about credentials. Get more education if you like, but you have what you need for here and now. Go out and do it."
My own thoughts had been running in this direction since my friend's birthday party and the affirmations there. I've got the outline of a website up. I've been inching along in this direction.
Today, when I left my spiritual director, I felt very much like I did after my advisor shook my hand as I crossed the threshold coming back into the room after my Master's thesis defense: that I had been identified and accepted as one of the fellowship for which each was both a mentor/guide and a threshold guardian.
I swear that as I was walking down the stairs I could feel an angel floating over my head that had not been there before.
One of the things that had been holding me back from 'hanging out my shingle' previously was a sense that I would not feel comfortable doing so if my own director did not support me. If he had misgivings about my readiness, I would have to respect them -- or at least consider them deeply. (Not because of any rules, but because of the nature of the relationship.) If I did not respect his reasons, then I would need to find a new director.
But today he told me -- and he was the one to use the word charism -- that he did think I had both the gift and the basic skills. He believes that further education is wise and appropriate, but the lack is no reason to hold back, not when I'm already having encounters which demonstrate the fact of the gift.
The day after I turned 41. It's as if I crossed some mystical way-marker -- or the stars finally clicked into a particular alignment relative to my natal day. . . or something.
And now I have no more excuses for holding back.
Today, by 'coincidence' (meaning I didn't plan it that way, but that doesn't mean it wasn't Planned), I had lunch with the pastor of my church and later in the afternoon went to my monthly spiritual direction appointment.
They both said the same thing to me, each in his own words: "You clearly have not only the ability to be spiritual director, but the gift. (The charism, in traditional terms.) Stop worrying about credentials. Get more education if you like, but you have what you need for here and now. Go out and do it."
My own thoughts had been running in this direction since my friend's birthday party and the affirmations there. I've got the outline of a website up. I've been inching along in this direction.
Today, when I left my spiritual director, I felt very much like I did after my advisor shook my hand as I crossed the threshold coming back into the room after my Master's thesis defense: that I had been identified and accepted as one of the fellowship for which each was both a mentor/guide and a threshold guardian.
I swear that as I was walking down the stairs I could feel an angel floating over my head that had not been there before.
One of the things that had been holding me back from 'hanging out my shingle' previously was a sense that I would not feel comfortable doing so if my own director did not support me. If he had misgivings about my readiness, I would have to respect them -- or at least consider them deeply. (Not because of any rules, but because of the nature of the relationship.) If I did not respect his reasons, then I would need to find a new director.
But today he told me -- and he was the one to use the word charism -- that he did think I had both the gift and the basic skills. He believes that further education is wise and appropriate, but the lack is no reason to hold back, not when I'm already having encounters which demonstrate the fact of the gift.
The day after I turned 41. It's as if I crossed some mystical way-marker -- or the stars finally clicked into a particular alignment relative to my natal day. . . or something.
And now I have no more excuses for holding back.