![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Jun. 15th, 2004
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-syndicated.gif){kind=small}
Vulcan Tactics
Jun. 15th, 2004 07:09 pmI went to work this morning resolved to actually follow my own advice from an entry or so ago and stop putting energy into the conflict with Miss Vicki. The conflict may go on, but I'm going to stop making it a central issue of my life.
There were two contretemps with her today, one of which truly angered me, but instead of responding to an email of hers in which she made an accusation which was both untrue and insulting, I decided that defending myself wouldn't make a damn bit of difference to her opinion of me and would only fan the flames. So I let her have the last word and went on to other things,
I also deliberately detached emotionally from the situation. I mentally quirked one eyebrow and reminded myself that humans are often highly illogical and emotional, and the only thing I can do about it is try to avoid that tendency in my *own* behavior. That's not something I often do, but I was surprised at how successful I was. I simply refused to invest any energy into feeling upset, offended, outraged, or any of the other intense emotions I've been getting a perverse jazz from these last few weeks.
And you know what? I had a much better day because of it. (Doh!)
I really do try to avoid being a drama queen. But I fear that I've been exactly that these past few weeks where Miss V has been concerned. The situation has been so unusual, it's thrown me off balance. And I suspect that the lack of intense *positive* emotion in my life made me more vulnerable to the pleasures of negative intensity. (I am an intensity junky, although it's often expressed in an introverted way.)
So -- picture me blushing a bit, and please accept my apologies for my ranting over the past few weeks and my gratitude for all the encouragement and support so many of you have offered. I'm doing my best to go back to behaving more like a grown-up now.
There were two contretemps with her today, one of which truly angered me, but instead of responding to an email of hers in which she made an accusation which was both untrue and insulting, I decided that defending myself wouldn't make a damn bit of difference to her opinion of me and would only fan the flames. So I let her have the last word and went on to other things,
I also deliberately detached emotionally from the situation. I mentally quirked one eyebrow and reminded myself that humans are often highly illogical and emotional, and the only thing I can do about it is try to avoid that tendency in my *own* behavior. That's not something I often do, but I was surprised at how successful I was. I simply refused to invest any energy into feeling upset, offended, outraged, or any of the other intense emotions I've been getting a perverse jazz from these last few weeks.
And you know what? I had a much better day because of it. (Doh!)
I really do try to avoid being a drama queen. But I fear that I've been exactly that these past few weeks where Miss V has been concerned. The situation has been so unusual, it's thrown me off balance. And I suspect that the lack of intense *positive* emotion in my life made me more vulnerable to the pleasures of negative intensity. (I am an intensity junky, although it's often expressed in an introverted way.)
So -- picture me blushing a bit, and please accept my apologies for my ranting over the past few weeks and my gratitude for all the encouragement and support so many of you have offered. I'm doing my best to go back to behaving more like a grown-up now.
