(no subject)

I'm still struggling with Miss Vicki. On Monday we had another of our little clashes when she wanted to give me her boss's birthday card list (for the entire division, of which my department is a part) to do on a regular basis. I felt it was inappropriate for her to assign me work for her boss that was on more than an occasional basis. She told me that "Jeannie isn't going to be giving you any more work than she is now, even when you're full time" -- and I have no idea how she could say that and not blink. Maybe it will prove true, but maybe not.

After that, she emailed me asking me to send her a list of tasks that I wanted to do. I wrote back that I felt uncomfortable just sending a list of "I Want" jobs since I wasn't entirely clear on how she and my predecessor had divided things, and I didn't want to either edge in on her job nor shirk my own responsibiltiies. My proposal: that we each write a list of jobs that we think need to be done for the entire department, and then sit down together and decide together the most reasonable and fair division of labor.

She declined. Evidently the jobs that I had listed as being ones which I assumed were possible joint activities were, to her mind, all hers. Her final word, "Let's see what happens going forward."

How do you deal with someone like this?

But this morning I realized what *I* have been contributing to our not getting along well. I came in with expectations about the degree of responsibility and autonomy I would have, based on my previous experience in other parts of the company. When this position didn't mesh with my expectations, I resisted. I don't think I was entirely wrong in that, but I also think that I didn't approach it quite as constructively or as flexibly as I might have. The fact is that I am proud, and I felt condescended to by Miss Vicki. The fact that she wouldn't even consider any of my suggestions or alternate ways of doing things didn't help. To her mind, "teamwork" means me doing whatever she thinks needs to be done.

When I push back, she backs off for a couple of days. I got back to work yesterday morning, however, and found a format for a newsletter that her boss wants done for the division that Vicki wants me to own. Now, having me "own" it is a significant step, because I get to do it my way, not hers. Part of our problem is both of us want control over what I do. If she's willing to have me own this and not just do it her way, it's a step forward. But I'm still twitchy about doing things that her boss has given her. But maybe I'm the one who's out of step with department culture.

It's a frustrating, uncomfortable situation, and I'm reluctant to bring it to my boss's attention. She's new to the company and to the division, and has no background in this little slice of culture. And who wants their assistant to be having friction with their boss's assistant? I need to tread carefully between being a "team player" even if it means I'm a subordinate, and keeping some boundaries up so I'm not accepting supervision from two people.

Being permanent will change the dynamic with Vicki, I'm sure. I'm just not sure how yet. I dearly hope that Jeannie will continue to give me more complex projects, as she has started to do. I just need *more* of them.

I hope this all makes sense. I'm typing in haste. The crux of my issue this morning is being honest with myself about how much of the discomfort I'm feeling is my own responsibility, and to what degree do I need to set aside my pride and my awareness that I'm used to have a lot more autonomy and respect from my supervisors than Miss V gives me, and just deal with the fact that this position is going to be less than ideal in that respect.

Hell of a situation for a Queen of Swords, however: to be condescended to and told by action and tone that my ideas and suggestions are not welcome.

EMPLOYED!!!

1. I got the job offer today!
They are offering $2K more per year than my asking price -- not a huge amount, but a nice token sum.
Jeannie said, "I am delighted to offer you this job. You've been doing great work for us for a long time and it's about time we brought you on board permanently!" A lovely change from what I'd heard in the past: "You've been doing a great job for us, but we want to make sure we get the best possible person for the position, so we'll be interviewing other people as well." Fine. I like Jeannie a lot better than any of those previous supervisors anyway.

2. I told Jeannie a bit about my hassles with Miss Vicki because I needed to ask her whether or not I should accept the assignment of starting and owning the division newsletter. Jeannie said yes, do it, because she herself wants to be able to influence it(!!). She also told me to give the birthday cards back to Miss Vicki. She encouraged me to push back at Vicki whenever I felt it was appropriate, and to keep her informed of how things were going. I felt *very* supported.

3. I'm about to pick up The Child early from after school care so we can have some extra time together and have dinner together at California Pizza Kitchen. We like to sit up to the counter and watch them make the pizzas and see the flames at the back of the oven. Might even order dessert tonight!

Game Saturday. I hope I'll be ready. Jeannie has had me busy the last two days, so I haven't had as much time to plot. Oh well - sometimes I do a better job GM'ing when I'm less prepared and go from my gut. It's a fine balance between enough structure to have an actual plot and loose enough to make the interaction with the players more a dance than a snipe hunt.

Gotta run!