Tumbling Worlds

I've been wanting to post on this theme for a while, but it's taken toesontheground responding to philosofialogos to prompt me to address this question: What one statement, experience, or realization in your life "tumbled your world" and made you look at the world differently from then on?

The Big One for me was the film "A Passage to India" -- which is what precipitated my existential crisis in the early spring of my sophomore year of college.

I had grown up with an image of God the Father based very much on my relationship with my own father, who was the superintendent of the school district, filled the pulpit when the pastor was on vacation, taught adult and junior Sunday School, and was, at various times, president of Rotary, the Rose Society, the fly fisherman's club, and etc. Everywhere I turned, he was there, and he was in charge, and so the world for me was a very safe place. God, like my own father, loved me, and was truly in charge of "everything" so I was blissfully secure.

In "A Passage to India," an Indian doctor tries to do a favor for two European women, and through no fault of his own ends up ruined. It was the first time I truly realized that the universe is not a safe place, that bad things do happen to good people, that pain is inevitable, and etc. I went back to my dorm room, and within about thirty minutes my faith in just about everything collapsed into rubble. I could no longer believe in God. I truly realized for the first time that I was going to die one day. I despaired of ever truly knowing anything. I was horribly conscious of how vast the universe is, and it seemed a place of chaos and blind chance, not beauty and order.

I no longer am in the grip of existential despair, but I was irrevocably changed that night.

( There were other key shifts as well: )

What about you?

Sex Positive Movies

During a recent conversation, an acquaintance brought up the film "Dangerous Beauty," which he had just seen for the first time, but which has been a favorite of mine for several years. It's based on the true story of a Venetian courtesan named Veronica Franco, who was a poet and intellectual as well as being extrordinarily successful in her profession. She was tried as a witch by the Inquisition, but charges against her were dropped. (This icon, which I use frequently, is Catherine McCormack as Veronica.)

The film is gorgeous, and, as this man pointed out, "Probably the most sex positive film" he had ever seen. That raised the question of what other strongly sex positive films were out there. The group of us were having a hard time coming up with a list. Certainly there are many films with lovely and positive sex scenes, but I can't think of many in which sex, in a positive, celebratory, powerful way is at the center of the story, and is even honored as a kind of spiritual path.

Reviewing my personal film collection, the only movie I would consider putting in the same class would be "Bull Durham." Annie's sex life is exuberant and creative and very much a part of who she is and what the movie is about. It's part of her power, and it's a power which has a positive impact on others.

Anyone else want to add to the list?

Insert String of Swearing Here

I have water on my floor again.
AGAIN!

I didn't know anything was wrong until I walked into my office today and the carpet went *squish*.

So up came the carpet -- and almost everything that was in my office is now in my entryway, living room, kitchen and bedroom -- and we dried the floor and checked everything. At first, the area around the water heater appeared to be dry. But when I went back later, it was very wet, and it continued to get wet after I toweled it up.

20 lines of typing deleted here. I thought it was the water heater leaking. But now the floor around it is staying dry. So maybe what I was seeing was the last of the water coming through the wall or the foundation behind my bookcases.

You know: the bookcases that are secured to the wall because we sometimes have earthquakes here. . .

If it's not the water heater, then most likely I'll have to back up several hundred books, undo the hardware holding the bookcases to the wall, move the bookcases, and then my ex husband will have to cut a hole in the wall and find the leak point, as he did in my bedroom. Or - preferrably - the insurance company will pay for a contractor to do it, since the likely cause of the flooding is the landscaping work done by the neighbors who live up a hill directly next to us, which may give us basis for a claim and the money to have it handled by a professional.

I don't know what we're going to do. It's a bright, sunny day here - and yesterday was a beautiful day too. So it's likely the water came in a few days ago. (I don't use my "office" for much except storage. My desk is in the living room, so I can be closer to my daughter while I do my work. That's why I didn't discover the problem sooner. If indeed it happened a few days ago during the latest bout of persistent rain.)

Arrrgghhhh!