10 Things -- My Secret Code
Mar. 28th, 2005 06:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
qosI lost track of my "by request" follow-up to the "10 Things I've Done Which You Haven't" meme.
I seem to recall that![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
godlyperspectiv specifically asked about the secret code I created when I was 12 years old and still use.
During the summer of my 12th year, I started having the daydreams which eventually became the myth cycle that provided the backdrop to my daily life until I was into my early thirties. These daydreams grew out of a highly unlikely source, and one which embarrassed me even at age 12. (No, it wasn't anything terrible or shameful -- in fact,raptures_shadow calls it "probably the most normal thing you ever did" -- but that didn't erase the fact that I was embarrassed by it.)
But these daydreams were riveting to me, and quickly became so involved that I simply had to write them down, so I could develop them with better continuity and detail. But I couldn't bear the thought of someone else stumbling on them and reading them. (I had a little sister, after all.) So I created code, called Sabrin, to keep them secret.
We had a set of World Book Encyclopedia at home, and at the beginning of each volume was a history of how our modern letters came into being. I borrowed from old alphabets, from planetary and astrological signs, math symbols, and random shapes to create a fairly simple code, but one which would prevent any casual reading. Over time, I grew very proficient writing in it.
As I grew older, most of my personal creative writing (as opposed to what I wrote to turn in for creative writing classes) sprang from very deep places, and I was utterly certain that anyone who read it would look at it in blank incomprehension -- or be dismissive. So I wrote stories that got A grades in high school and college, and wrote A papers, but seldom expressed my truest voice in plain English except when I wrote stories (sometimes erotically charged) for my boyfriends. I still have hundreds of pages of notebook paper filled with stories written in Sabrin.
One of the biggest achievements of the past few years has been my venturing beyond my code, beyond the privacy of my paper journal, and sharing the utterances of the true voice which I kept hidden behind code for so long. The first big step was when I started writing stories based on my group's gaming characters and it was well received. Then I wrote the daydream that turned into a fledgling novel, which was also well-received by that group. That was the first step out of silence.
LJ has been critically important from that perspective, and seminary has been a surprisingly powerful experience in that regard as well, as I speak from my minority position in a community made up of ministerial candidates from the large, established Christian denominations.
I don't write much in Sabrin anymore, although I have to admit that it comes in very handy when I'm bored in meetings or classes and my writing veers from proper notes to personal reflections, stories, or fantasy.
I seem to recall that
godlyperspectiv specifically asked about the secret code I created when I was 12 years old and still use.During the summer of my 12th year, I started having the daydreams which eventually became the myth cycle that provided the backdrop to my daily life until I was into my early thirties. These daydreams grew out of a highly unlikely source, and one which embarrassed me even at age 12. (No, it wasn't anything terrible or shameful -- in fact,
raptures_shadow calls it "probably the most normal thing you ever did" -- but that didn't erase the fact that I was embarrassed by it.) But these daydreams were riveting to me, and quickly became so involved that I simply had to write them down, so I could develop them with better continuity and detail. But I couldn't bear the thought of someone else stumbling on them and reading them. (I had a little sister, after all.) So I created code, called Sabrin, to keep them secret.
We had a set of World Book Encyclopedia at home, and at the beginning of each volume was a history of how our modern letters came into being. I borrowed from old alphabets, from planetary and astrological signs, math symbols, and random shapes to create a fairly simple code, but one which would prevent any casual reading. Over time, I grew very proficient writing in it.
As I grew older, most of my personal creative writing (as opposed to what I wrote to turn in for creative writing classes) sprang from very deep places, and I was utterly certain that anyone who read it would look at it in blank incomprehension -- or be dismissive. So I wrote stories that got A grades in high school and college, and wrote A papers, but seldom expressed my truest voice in plain English except when I wrote stories (sometimes erotically charged) for my boyfriends. I still have hundreds of pages of notebook paper filled with stories written in Sabrin.
One of the biggest achievements of the past few years has been my venturing beyond my code, beyond the privacy of my paper journal, and sharing the utterances of the true voice which I kept hidden behind code for so long. The first big step was when I started writing stories based on my group's gaming characters and it was well received. Then I wrote the daydream that turned into a fledgling novel, which was also well-received by that group. That was the first step out of silence.
LJ has been critically important from that perspective, and seminary has been a surprisingly powerful experience in that regard as well, as I speak from my minority position in a community made up of ministerial candidates from the large, established Christian denominations.
I don't write much in Sabrin anymore, although I have to admit that it comes in very handy when I'm bored in meetings or classes and my writing veers from proper notes to personal reflections, stories, or fantasy.
