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Household Paradigm Shift
"Listen," he said. "It's important. We are all. Free. To do. Whatever. We want. To do."
- Richard Bach, Illusions
It's amazing what happens when a breaker gets tripped in the brain so that something that just a few minutes before was unthinkable suddenly becomes thinkable.
I had another flood today. Not a big one. But the pipes backed up again, and I had water on my floor that required the intervention of Mr. Shop-Vac, and it hadn't even been raining. And when the door was open, one of the upstairs cats got in. And the kids upstairs had dug a huge hole in the backyard.
And I turned to my Ex and said, "We keep talking about what we can do to fix the plumbing -- but what if we simply start talking about moving? This house was fine for you and me and the child -- and even with your SO. But there are also the twins. This house is not going to be big enough. What if we move to a less expensive neighborhood, and buy a bigger house? Or two houses, next door to each other."
And he allowed that may be we should be thinking about that. And he asked that I write up a list of my requirements for a new place, and he would also write them up, and we could call our realtor and find out what our options were.
I want out of this house. It's bad enough with the plumbing problems. But there is not enough room for my daughter and I down here. And if we're going to move, I may end up lobbying for two houses in relatively close proximity.
We'll see.
But a conversation has started that we haven't had before. And it feels good.
- Richard Bach, Illusions
It's amazing what happens when a breaker gets tripped in the brain so that something that just a few minutes before was unthinkable suddenly becomes thinkable.
I had another flood today. Not a big one. But the pipes backed up again, and I had water on my floor that required the intervention of Mr. Shop-Vac, and it hadn't even been raining. And when the door was open, one of the upstairs cats got in. And the kids upstairs had dug a huge hole in the backyard.
And I turned to my Ex and said, "We keep talking about what we can do to fix the plumbing -- but what if we simply start talking about moving? This house was fine for you and me and the child -- and even with your SO. But there are also the twins. This house is not going to be big enough. What if we move to a less expensive neighborhood, and buy a bigger house? Or two houses, next door to each other."
And he allowed that may be we should be thinking about that. And he asked that I write up a list of my requirements for a new place, and he would also write them up, and we could call our realtor and find out what our options were.
I want out of this house. It's bad enough with the plumbing problems. But there is not enough room for my daughter and I down here. And if we're going to move, I may end up lobbying for two houses in relatively close proximity.
We'll see.
But a conversation has started that we haven't had before. And it feels good.
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But my endurance has about run out. . . Especially after the emotional dramas upstairs a few months ago and the added children of the Ex's SO's other daughter and her two kids. I might have been able to put up with the occasional water if it weren't for the added stress of the community upstairs.
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I thikn the search is prob a good thing, and hope you find something. :)
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Thanks for the good wishes. :-)
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Amazing what a simple shift in framing a problem can do! I had a friend who wanted to go into business doing that - although I think mainly he wanted to impress his geek friends with a business card that described him simply as a Paradigm Shifter
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We're on the sewer, but have poor drainage. I don't pretend to understand all the nuances. I'm not sure anyone does.