Insight About Effort

[qos]

It's always good for me to talk with oakmouse when I'm feeling frustrated and upset with myself. She does an excellent job of discerning when I'm focused on something I really do need to work to change and when I'm being too hard on myself.

I told her today that I was feeling frustrated because the last couple of months have been so hard, and that every time I feel like I'm getting some traction on my various endeavors (building my business, improving my fitness, getting established in a new level of spiritual practice), something comes along and knocks me off balance and tangles me up.

Usually I am pretty good at having a positive attitude about things and taking responsibility for what I can control in regards to my emotions, my mood, my efforts, and etc. -- but when I can't change my circumstances through a combination of optimism and responsibility I feel worse because then it feels like not only am I not advancing on my goals, I have failed at transforming my circumstances internally.

That's what I've been doing the last couple of days: making a rough patch even more difficult by berating myself for not being capable of rising above it, despite both Wolfling and myself being ill and a couple of other challenges.

I shouldn't give up, but there are times to cut myself some slack, and this seems to be one of them.

Comments

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

This is something I have to remember for myself, as well. I'm glad you got that clarity!