Conversion Experiences

[qos]

One of my very spiritually-engaged friends posted last night about her strong feelings about two friends who had become atheists. Her story got me thinking about my own experience of suddenly finding myself an atheist after/during my existential crisis in college. What at that time I called a "loss of faith" I later came to consider an initiatory doorway into a much deeper spiritual life.

Another person's comment got me thinking about the question of what consistutes a "successful" belief and what prompts people to change their beliefs. Under what conditions do we decide -- consciously or unconsciously -- that our beliefs are not resulting in whatever we think they should be delivering as a result of our having them? And how hard is it to change, even when we start to feel some degree of discomfort from holding onto old beliefs? While I'm primarily focusing on spiritual beliefs, this could be a much wider question, taking into account beliefs about political systems, the economy, parenting, etc. . .

Anyone interested in sharing your conversion stories?

Anyone want to throw out some definitions of what makes a belief system successful or not? What makes it "work" for a person or not? Are there any universals that one could expect to see in the life of a person who holds beliefs that "work"? (This is a very subjective question. I'm not looking for a one-size-fits-all authoritative answer.)


I'll post some of my own reflections a bit later. . . Now that the snack mentioned in the previous entry has settled, I need to get to work on applied spirituality rather than theory.

Comments

[heron61.livejournal.com]

My own dealing with gods are a bit odd. One the eve of my first degree initiation into my coven, I firmly believed in magic and various sorts of spirits, but didn't consider gods to be at all likely. Then, I lay down to meditate for a while, and had a pair of gods show up and talk to me and (mostly) about me to each other. I could see them physically (as blobs of energy) and in a more visionary manner as shifting faces and bodies and could hear them very clearly. Since that time, 15 years ago I maintain that I still don't believe in gods, but I've met several (including a few more since then, and also more than one angel).

[qos.livejournal.com]

I still don't believe in gods, but I've met several

I'm not clear on what you're getting at here. Is it a matter of "belief" as opposed to actually knowing? Or am I missing your point?

[heron61.livejournal.com]

It's both belief vs. knowing, combined with the fact that I don't worship or follow deities. I respect them, but I'm not into the whole worship thing.

On an only slightly related note, my primary relationship with deity is tied into my own odd transhumanist spirituality - I want to effectively become one.

[sharpchick.livejournal.com]

I don't know that my own experience is necessarily one of conversion.

I never did fit into the family concept of spirituality, and constantly questioned my family's expression of religion, first as a child with parents and grandparents and then later as an adult with the pastors of churches.

I studied the Christian Bible and went to church but it was to get answers to my questions, which seemed to me to point out inconsistencies in what everyone was trying to teach me and to make me believe. My paternal grandmother was distressed by my "lack of faith" until the day she passed when I was in my early 20s.

The only adult older than I who has known me all my life and was not surprised to hear me say 10 years ago that I was pagan said she always knew I was different, even as a very small child.

So I don't think I really converted. I think it just took me a very long time to have the self-assurance I needed to say, this is who I am and what I believe. I don't have to be the same as you.

[sashajwolf.livejournal.com]

I think my experiences of loss of faith have been a necessary part of my journey, too. I can't really articulate what made me convert or de-convert each time, though - it's always happened somewhere in the depths of my subconscious, and next thing I'd know, I'd be standing up saying the Creed and meaning it or telling a friend "I don't define as Christian any more", as the case might be. It would only be in saying it that I'd become aware of the change myself.

As for what constitutes "working" in this context - for me, it's some combination of "gives me a language in which I can express my experiences without too much distortion" and "stops Them driving me crazy by poking me to let me know I'm Doing It Wrong" ;-)