Getting Used to It

[qos]

I realized while driving to work today that I've gotten used to uncrowned_king being gone.

It wasn't a pleasant sensation.

Of course I don't want to be crying over his death for the rest of my life. . . . and it would be ridiculous and unhealthy to resist adjusting to the reality of his loss. . . but some part of me thinks it is fundamentally wrong for it to be in any way "okay" that he's gone. On some level, it feels like a betrayal -- even though I know he would not/does not feel that way.

Or maybe it's just that the pain of his loss has settled into a quiet, deep channel. It's still there on some level, but it's no longer storming and flooding.

It's a little more than a month until the anniversary of his death.

We can only ever go forward.

Comments

[stiobhanrune.livejournal.com]

Just remember, he's always with you. You haven't gotten "over" it, just better used to it. And there are those of us who fully understand.

*smiles gently*

[qos.livejournal.com]

You put that very well. Thank you for the wise words and the understanding.