Overwhelmed

[qos]

Suddenly, everything is almost too much. It's not enough that I'm still mostly in boxes, and I have my Pantheacon class to finish, and Wolfling's room looks like a rat's nest and she has a science fair project she needs help with, and the groceries are running low. . . work just ratcheted up about four levels in intensity, and instead of having the expected good/fun day both my boss and I had curves thrown at us that are stressing us out, and I'm suddenly working overtime which is good for my finances but not welcome this particular week.

More than anything else, I wish I could look forward to going home to a partner and a pair of sheltering arms -- and being aware of that lack pushes me over the line and threatens to put me into tears right here at my desk.

I can take all the madness the world has to give, but I won't last a day without you.

But I can't really say that, can I?
It's been 251 days, and I'm still here.
(And no, I haven't been counting. I had to look it up.)

I'm going to stop typing now.
This isn't helping my mood or my resilience.
I just needed to take a moment and stop and acknowledge my feelings instead of dishonoring them by pretending I'm just tired.

Comments

[blessed-harlot.livejournal.com]

Much love, friend.

[9thmoon.livejournal.com]

I wish I could say something that would help. I'm sorry you're hurting.

[jillwheezul.livejournal.com]

You can only take one step at a time or you'll fall down and go boom. Take joy in the dance of the universe and place your feet where you want them to land. Isn't time an amazing dimension?
Hugs.

[iswari.livejournal.com]

Lots of love to you...

[tx-cronopio.livejournal.com]

So sorry, J. xox

[elevengirl.livejournal.com]

I am glad you acknowledged your feelings. I think that's a very healthy thing to do. And I'm very sorry you're overwhelmed.

[royalbananafish.livejournal.com]

Hang on tight!

[dorjejaguar.livejournal.com]

I feel for you.

I don't know if you do this sorta woo woo thing but I thought I'd mention it. Doing a ritual cleansing and consecration of the house might help.
I know I've forgotten that before and been confused and uncomfortable in the new place until I could do so.
And I know your still unpacking and all, I just figured it might help make the home feel more comforting.

Anyhoo, take care.

[a-belletrist.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry that the Overwhelmingness came by and squished you for a while. It's been making drive-bys. Mean ol' thing.

[oakmouse]

*big hugs*

[coen.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry for you, and I am so grateful that I do have someone to comfort me. I don't know if I could cope if I had to handle life on my own.

And still, even though it seems you can't cope, you have been coping so far!

[veronica-milvus.livejournal.com]

Here's a time when you have to readjust to a lot of stuff all at once. And you still have to readjust to your loss. A new space can feel a bit lonely when it doesn't have the right people in it.

I hope you can get through to the weekend then spend some time straightening the new place out, and then sitting down in it and enjoying just being there.

take care of yourself.
V

[makhsihed.livejournal.com]

Mrrr. *hugs*

Good for you for acknowledging your feelings... that takes a lot of self-honesty and a certain degree of guts.

Warmth to you.

*tea?*

[queenofhalves]

*late hugs*