In the most basic sense, I "got started exploring bdsm" in childhood, when I was imagining some kinky but non-sexual adventures for my Barbies -- which seems to be a classic motif. I actually confessed my desires and had someone tie me up for the first time in high school.
In my own experience, the hardest part was admitting to the desires in myself. Once I'd done that, and was willing to talk about it to boyfriends/lovers, exploration usually followed. It hasn't been a matter of looking for someone who was into bdsm; all but one of my partners have been more than happy to at least play in that area. My Ex-husband was the notable exception, but we got involved during a point in my life when I thought I was "over that stuff." I learned that I go in cycles, especially if I've exceeded my own natural limits and need to go into a dormant phase for a while.
As for finding this partner. . . luck, fate, destiny. . . ?? I found him -- or he found me -- in the middle of a labyrinth on a sacred island. Both of my lovers are very spiritual and partake of the Warrior archetype, so they have a deep understanding of the transformative power of physical ordeal. I had always groped at a spiritual aspect to bdsm, but it wasn't until I found these two that I have been able to experience it. And the sacred aspect extends beyond the bdsm aspect, I should add. Our entire sexual gestalt is charged with spirituality, and the bdsm experiences take place within that context.
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And I have one of these meme's (http://revpanthera.livejournal.com/41413.html) too if you care to question me.
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In my own experience, the hardest part was admitting to the desires in myself. Once I'd done that, and was willing to talk about it to boyfriends/lovers, exploration usually followed. It hasn't been a matter of looking for someone who was into bdsm; all but one of my partners have been more than happy to at least play in that area. My Ex-husband was the notable exception, but we got involved during a point in my life when I thought I was "over that stuff." I learned that I go in cycles, especially if I've exceeded my own natural limits and need to go into a dormant phase for a while.
As for finding this partner. . . luck, fate, destiny. . . ?? I found him -- or he found me -- in the middle of a labyrinth on a sacred island. Both of my lovers are very spiritual and partake of the Warrior archetype, so they have a deep understanding of the transformative power of physical ordeal. I had always groped at a spiritual aspect to bdsm, but it wasn't until I found these two that I have been able to experience it. And the sacred aspect extends beyond the bdsm aspect, I should add. Our entire sexual gestalt is charged with spirituality, and the bdsm experiences take place within that context.