"Why Didn't You Scream or Fight Harder When He Started Raping You?"

[qos]

Because most women learn early that making a fuss, shutting down the inappropriate advances of men, and not 'acting nice' get them punished on a day to day basis.

This is one of the best essays about rape I've ever read, and it certainly backs up some significant decisions I've made about raising Wolfling to be fierce rather than accommodating when her boundaries are violated.

I have a number of women friends who have been raped, all of them by "friends," acquaintances, or a family member. And all the ones who have been willing to talk about it have expressed their feelings of helplessness and inhibition about fighting back, especially if it might "cause a scene."


Thanks to the friend who shared this in a locked post.


None of this is to deny that men also get raped, and the essasy does also address the social conditioning of men to be aggressive, but the author's focus in this particular piece is about women's social conditioning.

Comments

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

this was important enough that I've opened the post, so everyone who allegedly reads my blog can see it.

Your explanation/blurb for the link is cogent and well written.

[devifemme.livejournal.com]

Very well thought through, and important to get widely distributed. Might I suggest trying to get it published as an op-ed in the NYTimes or WPost? Or a large regional paper, depending where you're from?

Congratulations! The hard first step is done. Keep on it!

Hugs, Justine