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qosI had my spiritual direction appointment this afternoon, and it was one of the most challenging I've ever had, primarily because of the weird/fragile emotional state I've been in all day. I've told Tom a lot of wild stories over the past few years, stories about experiences and visions and rituals that would send a lot of conventional directors running for the hills -- but Tom has always listened with respect and sensitivity to everything, even when I've had to translate and/or explain the background.
One of the most siginificant things that's happened to me spiritually since our last meeting was the experience that led to my current inquiries about Freyja -- but I found it very difficult to talk about it. Granted, the details of how exactly my interest came to be aroused is not something I'd usually talk about (let's just say they would take a couple of different filters here) -- but usually I would feel comfortable talking about what happened after that first incident. Not today.
By the end of the session, I felt bound up in knots energetically.
And today was the day that he had asked me to do a tarot reading for him after our SD session. I wasn't sure it was going to work, then I felt a familiar tingling in my hands, and I knew that even though my energy had been strange all day, something was right to do the reading. So we did.
And it went very well. So well, in fact, that by the end of it all my energy felt like it was back in the proper alignment: both centered and flowing. And I felt very good about the reading, about how the cards fell and how I interpreted them. Tom told me that they gave him a good/different perspective on the issue he is working with, and that felt good.
Best of all, however, was the honor he did me by even asking me to do the reading -- and even more so by offering to trade the reading for my session with him this month.
By doing so, he implicitly expressed his belief that my gifts and my expertise were of equal worth and dignity to his own -- something I would not have presumed. (And even using that word makes me both cringe and shake my head at myself. I still have a way to go in the area of "owning my power".)
It was a good feeling. The fact that the reading went so well made it even better.
I felt honored.
One of the most siginificant things that's happened to me spiritually since our last meeting was the experience that led to my current inquiries about Freyja -- but I found it very difficult to talk about it. Granted, the details of how exactly my interest came to be aroused is not something I'd usually talk about (let's just say they would take a couple of different filters here) -- but usually I would feel comfortable talking about what happened after that first incident. Not today.
By the end of the session, I felt bound up in knots energetically.
And today was the day that he had asked me to do a tarot reading for him after our SD session. I wasn't sure it was going to work, then I felt a familiar tingling in my hands, and I knew that even though my energy had been strange all day, something was right to do the reading. So we did.
And it went very well. So well, in fact, that by the end of it all my energy felt like it was back in the proper alignment: both centered and flowing. And I felt very good about the reading, about how the cards fell and how I interpreted them. Tom told me that they gave him a good/different perspective on the issue he is working with, and that felt good.
Best of all, however, was the honor he did me by even asking me to do the reading -- and even more so by offering to trade the reading for my session with him this month.
By doing so, he implicitly expressed his belief that my gifts and my expertise were of equal worth and dignity to his own -- something I would not have presumed. (And even using that word makes me both cringe and shake my head at myself. I still have a way to go in the area of "owning my power".)
It was a good feeling. The fact that the reading went so well made it even better.
I felt honored.
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(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-20 06:10 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-20 05:11 pm (UTC)I think it is so cool that you have someone to whom you can tell all this stuff. I see a lot of myself in you. My spiritual interests and foci are so diverse. I really like hearing from someone who is the same way.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-20 09:51 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-21 05:08 pm (UTC)