Gray

[qos]

It's been a gray few days, and I'm contemplating going to a therapist again. The archetypal identity crisis of October-November has been pretty much resolved, but now I'm left again with the feeling that my emotions are stuck in this narrow band in the center, that my energy and creativity are not what they once were, and trying to figure out where all my passion went, and if it's ever coming back. I could easily live without romantic and sexual passion, but I miss the creative and energetic passion. The daily grind got mixed up with the crisis. When I dealt with the crisis, I thought this part had gone away too, but it hasn't.

I feel boring, blah, detached and passive.

None of which are qualities which I associate with my authentic self.

But as long as I'm writing something: thanks to whoever called me a Heartthrob Pirate! That made me smile.

This afternoon I'm taking my Gene Juarez gift card to the spa and having a whole body treatment involving massage, oils, wraps, and other arcane luxury 'stuff.' I expect it to be the best part of my week.

And happy birthday, dear saskia139!

Comments

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

::sprinkles rainbows about the room::

I hope you feel better, soon. If therapy will help you get there, go for it.

[saskia139.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much!

[southernselkie.livejournal.com]

I wish it had worked out for you to come here. This place has a way of inspiring. HUG

[toesontheground.livejournal.com]

Ah - sorry to hear this! *hugs*

I'm no therapist so please feel free to slap me and tell me to shut up, but: I could easily live without romantic and sexual passion...I'm not sure I believe you. Or, to put it another way, even if you don't need heart pounding romance and sweaty intense sex (!), what about special partnership and companionship? Sometimes depression can be a manifestation of our giving up hope in something we need to hope for (or have) in our lives.

[queenofhalves]

*waves pompoms in the support of good therapy*